I'm still getting over Jordan and Jeff being #1 on the first leg. That's impossible, to my way of thinking. Like Mama Cass running a marathon, if you ask me.
Aaron adds: It was Kinda like the morning I was eating Lucky Charms and right before my eyes the leprechaun jumped off the box. Then I remembered I dropeed LSD the night before, but that is another story.
This episode starts in Chile. Heading by bus to another spot in Chile, then driving, then a boat, then climbing. It wipes me out just to type that.
Aaron adds: If you're tired after typing that. You could have iron poor blood. I would have that checked.
The Cowboys are feeling underestimated. It's a question of the hat, evidently. People who wear them are considered fools, they feel. Hello, there might be a solution to that. Take off the hats?
No salsa for you!!!
The gay chicks and Joe and Heidi make it onto an earlier bus, after having saved a spot in line, pissing people off.
Aaron adds: Looks like next week they get into a hair pulling fight. Wait, they have no hair.
Jeff and Jordan and the Cowboys have the original notion to catch a bus through somewhere else, before getting to the final destination. Everyone else has booked tickets on an amazingly slow assed bus that will get them there at eight at the next morning. Can team redneck and team dummies do better?
You should write a book. "TAR for Dummies"
1. Get a globe that isn't from pre WW2.
The cowboys figure out that Team Dummy is waiting, possibly, for a bus that will leave from another terminal, in another part of the city. Jeff and Jordan are stranded then. LOL No mas bus... No more buses leaving today. Team Dummy is well and truly stuck.
Aaron adds: They were looking for a shorter bus. A much SHORTER bus.
All teams make it to the competition. I'm looking forward to the battle of the llamas LMAO - this is one I could actually do. For once. The condor one involves sixteen foot wings and COLD water. No thanks. Cowboys up first, they go for the llamas. They had absolutely no problems. Must have been habitude with equines, or the hats that did it.
Aaron adds: The cop team are truly idiotic. Nice to know they chose the right profession.
Brent did the bird thing. Those plastic wings weren't worth a shit LOL... they hit like a ton of bricks. Meanwhile other teams are getting kicked and spat on by the llamas. Evidently the cowboys got the one decent llama.
Team Dummy picks the bird, of course. They look classy jogging off the pier... NOT lol
Aaron adds: Where is the Flying Nun when you need her. On Brothers and Sisters of course.
The cowboys make it to the farm first; no problem milking the cow, though I thought that was a bull, they went after, at first. Now THAT would have been good TV.
Aaron adds (the devil) i guess Veterinarian school was never an option for you.
Team Cowboy made it into first place, hats and all. Almost as amazing as Team Dummy making it last week.
Team Grandma, sadly, gets eliminated. Gotta love a gutsy woman like that.
Aaron adds: I know one grandma who was crossed off other grand kids Christmas card list.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Feb 25: Aaron & Ette's Survivor Blog #1
Do we have a showmance between Parvati and Russell? Boston Rob and Coach think so. Parvati trusts Russell, the poor thing.
As for Russell:
Yay. Burnette Barbie always wanted a garden gnome lover!
Russell hides the machete, a genius move. A smarter move would be if he were the man to find it. Will he think of that? Doubtless he will. This is my favorite Survivor, I have to admit. He's wily like a fox.
Then again: Nah. Genius mode is, cut Jerri's head off, hide the machete.... tell everyone you last saw Rob with it.
Can't believe he hasn't found an idol yet, unless there are none. (I just read the forum, and evidently idols come back next week. GO Russell, you ole devil.)
Did you watch the preview for next week? THe hidden idol is Adam Lambert. I think it is in Rupert's beard!
Coach does his weird yoga, or whatever it is, by the water. Then he bitches about people who do nothing.
Back at the Heros tribe, JT tells Cirie a whopper about Candace not trusting her. These things come back and bite you in the ass, JT. Or didn't you know that? If not this time, some time soon. And sure as hell, Cirie goes straight to Candace and tells her Then again, a Whopper really sounds good right now. No mayo though.
Not who said it, though.
We go straight to the challenge, and evidently the damn tribe hasn't discovered the machete is gone? What good are the Villains if they can't be villainous enough to go nuts over something like that? Or we just didn't see it. Else they're so laid back they don't give a shit.
And I was really looking forward to them losing it :( Perhaps later in the show.
The Heroes win the challenge, totally killing the Villains, who look pissed. Rightfully so. They were OWNED roflol!
Yes they were owned. The men villains were manraped. I hope condoms were used in the challenge.
I know who they vote out, looking forward to hearing the scheming.
The villains discussed who they wanted out. No big surprises there, and Randy went. Funny, the machete came up briefly at TC. And I do mean briefly. I was waiting for Jeff to mention the fire, but he didn't. I guess they can make one without it.
And then again, not really. That person was pretty much begging like a wet cat in the tub to go at the end.
Okay. I need to see if I can find the Tulip tights I buried to grow now. Wish me luck!
As for Russell:
Yay. Burnette Barbie always wanted a garden gnome lover!
Russell hides the machete, a genius move. A smarter move would be if he were the man to find it. Will he think of that? Doubtless he will. This is my favorite Survivor, I have to admit. He's wily like a fox.
Then again: Nah. Genius mode is, cut Jerri's head off, hide the machete.... tell everyone you last saw Rob with it.
Can't believe he hasn't found an idol yet, unless there are none. (I just read the forum, and evidently idols come back next week. GO Russell, you ole devil.)
Did you watch the preview for next week? THe hidden idol is Adam Lambert. I think it is in Rupert's beard!
Coach does his weird yoga, or whatever it is, by the water. Then he bitches about people who do nothing.
Back at the Heros tribe, JT tells Cirie a whopper about Candace not trusting her. These things come back and bite you in the ass, JT. Or didn't you know that? If not this time, some time soon. And sure as hell, Cirie goes straight to Candace and tells her Then again, a Whopper really sounds good right now. No mayo though.
Not who said it, though.
We go straight to the challenge, and evidently the damn tribe hasn't discovered the machete is gone? What good are the Villains if they can't be villainous enough to go nuts over something like that? Or we just didn't see it. Else they're so laid back they don't give a shit.
And I was really looking forward to them losing it :( Perhaps later in the show.
The Heroes win the challenge, totally killing the Villains, who look pissed. Rightfully so. They were OWNED roflol!
Yes they were owned. The men villains were manraped. I hope condoms were used in the challenge.
I know who they vote out, looking forward to hearing the scheming.
The villains discussed who they wanted out. No big surprises there, and Randy went. Funny, the machete came up briefly at TC. And I do mean briefly. I was waiting for Jeff to mention the fire, but he didn't. I guess they can make one without it.
And then again, not really. That person was pretty much begging like a wet cat in the tub to go at the end.
Okay. I need to see if I can find the Tulip tights I buried to grow now. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Feb 24: Bachelor Tell All, tells too much
Remind me why I watch this show, when I watch Tell All. Silly show.
First we see part of the Roz scandal, and Jake more or less saying "If anyone else isn't here for me, don't wait for the Rose Ceremony." I have to admit I felt badly for him, there. That would totally suck, to be the Bachelor, and some bimbo does something with a producer. Who knows what? But something. I'd feel like shit, if I were Jake. I don't like planes very much, so thank GOD I'm not Jake.
It moves on to that ridiculous Elizabeth chick. "Don't kiss me, but I'll shag you if you like." That's the impression I got. If she had made it to the Fantasy Suite deal, she'd have been all over him. Period. Don't you think? I had to laugh at him kissing her forehead, and the look on his face after. "WTF did I just do?" was plain to see. Cracked me up.
I'm skipping over the bungee jump. That was just silly.
We hear Jake's fakest of all laughs when he and Tenley both write 'Kiss me' on their fortune cookies. Don't believe me? Go replay it again, and cover his mouth with your hand. Laughter never reaches those eyes. Spooky, if you ask me.
On to Allie. "Allie left in love with me, and me with her." I cry bullshit. If he was really in love with her, he'd have stopped her from leaving by any means at all. Wouldn't he? Even if he had to take her away from the cameras and say "Listen. Technically I can't say this, because I'm supposed to be in love with several women. But you - I really do love you. Don't go." If he'd said that, you think she would have gone? Not in a million years. He just wasn't quite as invested in that relationship as she was, and the chick knew it. Smart chick. She bailed.
I have nothing to say about all the old bachelors and bachelorettes. Who cares, after all? Bunch of monkey sex going down, nuff said.
The charity work is a good thing. Of course, they could do a lot more. LOT more. Ten grand to Haiti ain't much.
Finally we get to the ladies of this season. About time. "I think she dreams in cartoons." (Vienna, talking about Tenley.) Now, THAT is funny. LOLOL All the Disney cracks, too. Goody Two Shoes bought it and paid for it tonight, I must say.
The entire Roz affair got discussed. For me, it was all bullshit. No one saw her on the stairs lying on top of the producer. Come on. WHO would be that stupid? Especially since they have nothing to do with each other now. Ya know, I'd buy it if they were together now. And CH would make damn sure that we knew they were together, if such were the case. Fleiss would love that. Of course, since it's all BS, that ain't gonna happen.
Poor Gia. Just couldn't tell him how she felt, and is now aware that's probably why she lost him. Gorgeous thing that she is, I thought for sure he'd get rid of Tenley first.
This Michele chick is nuts. Fun to watch. Wanted to kiss him, and he didn't want any. I thought it was pretty smart of ole Jake to 'kick her to the curb.' She is clueless. Totally. Emotionally unstable is the understatement. I was embarrassed for her.
On to Allie. If I hear 'forced to make this decision' one more time, I'll barf. You mean to tell me she didn't know, going in, that Facebook would only give her X number of days off?? Of course she knew. Got to hand it to her. She spoke of Vienna being trashed in the tabloids, and said "Stay strong." Probably just words out of Fleiss's mouth for the next Bachelorette BUT it was nice to hear, all the same.
Finally Roz comes out. I hear she gives CH hell, and I hope she does. LOL I notice one thing straight away. They're cutting every word out of her mouth. She says "Absolutely" and opens her mouth to say something else and... no. They cut her off. That whole thing about CH and his son. And tales of unicorns, and the truth. This man wouldn't know the truth if it bit him on the ass. Why would Roz lie? It's all over, now. Done deal. She's off the show.
Unless.
Unless there's something in her contract, where they can dock her a good amount of money for playing around, for inappropriate behavior. Something that's going to cost her, if she tells the real truth. Hey, it's possible. I've seen these contracts, and they OWN your ass. For years.
It gets more interesting. She asks why they didn't tape the funny business. She has a point. So does CH. There's a lot of downtime, and a producer would damn well know where to go to avoid cameras. On the steps, for instance. Not many camera crews hang out there, at night. So this point is a wash. Neither side wins.
We do learn that the producer came by where she lives, and even brought Dad with him. Doesn't mean diddley. CH says "A mountain of evidence." I wouldn't go that far. Girls have NEVER lied on a show like this, correct? And isn't it convenient that they waited until this show was shot to tell their tales? They have zero proof, according to CH. No video exists. Just a few witnesses, who could well be lying for their own reasons (they were told to? It was fun to invent?)
What if they ARE telling the truth? I haven't seen much discussion about that, but I don't keep up the way I should. If they're telling the truth, she could be sued by Fleiss, assumably. It could possibly get ugly for her. She could be still seeing this producer, for all we know. Or he could blame her for losing a choice job. One could add, where's there's smoke, this much smoke, there's probably fire. Something inappropriate probably happened. We may never know the whole story, but thanks to Steve, we'll know as much as her contract permits her to say. Which won't be a hell of a lot.
If she just responds to each woman's accusations, I'll be a happy camper. Especially the one where she was lying on him on the steps. And where WAS she that one night she wasn't in her bed and couldn't be found?
I for one hope she nailed the producer. He was probably cuter than Jake, had more on the ball. Could do more for her career, too. Depending on what career she chooses, of course. Jeez. I just heard her accuse CH of hitting on the producer's wife in New Zealand. Could she have any less class? I'm more inclined to believe the other girls, now. And I sure as hell believe she has a contract that will strangle her.
I'm just going to say this. Last summer, a similar earth shaking episode happened on Big Brother, and a girl was kicked out of the house. It was a whole lot of he said she said, but we had live feeds, so we knew a lot of it.
But they cut those feeds off at some vital periods, and of course we couldn't see into the Diary Room.
The girl came to me and wanted to tell her story. Oh yeah, I thought. This is going to be good. Then I wound up tangled in CBS legal, and it was no fun at ALL. I promised I would never tell all she told me, and she told me the whole thing. One little piece I'll share, as it's cropped up elsewhere.
She claims the Diary Room producers tried to convince her to have an affair with one of the other contestants. And that's still not as explosive as all I promised not to tell, and never will.
So Steve is brave, doing what he's doing. ABC Legal could WELL land on his ass like a ton of bricks. The thing to do, for future reference, and this is what I learned: if you land a huge tell all interview like that, don't say one damn word about it.
Keep your mouth shut. Do the interview, (mine was a radio interview,) and go on and publish it. They can sure as hell make you pull it (that's happened to me too) but in the meantime, the story is published everywhere else. Best you believe it will wind up being discussed ad nauseum on Jokers.
Back to Bachelor. Jake finally comes out. Very typical stuff here. Gia he's sorry he hurt. Allie was a big decision that hurt him. The bloopers were cute, including the obligatory fart one. Or two.
We review Vienna's affair with Jake, and onto Tenley's. Damned if they don't discuss her ex. I was wondering if this would the ONE show where we didn't hear about that ex. Mine was worse than hers, and you guys never heard about him, did ya? Hmmmm. I smell a future blog.
Speaking of liars. "I can definitely see Tenley in my life for the next 60 years." Sure you can. That why you chose Vienna?
Interesting show, in parts. A lot of it was the same old. I did enjoy the Roz shenanigans. Especially when she told Chris he'd gone after that producer's wife. LOL his face was priceless. They HAD to air that... contract or no contract, every woman in that room would have posted that somewhere.
Probably not before Steve did!!!
First we see part of the Roz scandal, and Jake more or less saying "If anyone else isn't here for me, don't wait for the Rose Ceremony." I have to admit I felt badly for him, there. That would totally suck, to be the Bachelor, and some bimbo does something with a producer. Who knows what? But something. I'd feel like shit, if I were Jake. I don't like planes very much, so thank GOD I'm not Jake.
It moves on to that ridiculous Elizabeth chick. "Don't kiss me, but I'll shag you if you like." That's the impression I got. If she had made it to the Fantasy Suite deal, she'd have been all over him. Period. Don't you think? I had to laugh at him kissing her forehead, and the look on his face after. "WTF did I just do?" was plain to see. Cracked me up.
I'm skipping over the bungee jump. That was just silly.
We hear Jake's fakest of all laughs when he and Tenley both write 'Kiss me' on their fortune cookies. Don't believe me? Go replay it again, and cover his mouth with your hand. Laughter never reaches those eyes. Spooky, if you ask me.
On to Allie. "Allie left in love with me, and me with her." I cry bullshit. If he was really in love with her, he'd have stopped her from leaving by any means at all. Wouldn't he? Even if he had to take her away from the cameras and say "Listen. Technically I can't say this, because I'm supposed to be in love with several women. But you - I really do love you. Don't go." If he'd said that, you think she would have gone? Not in a million years. He just wasn't quite as invested in that relationship as she was, and the chick knew it. Smart chick. She bailed.
I have nothing to say about all the old bachelors and bachelorettes. Who cares, after all? Bunch of monkey sex going down, nuff said.
The charity work is a good thing. Of course, they could do a lot more. LOT more. Ten grand to Haiti ain't much.
Finally we get to the ladies of this season. About time. "I think she dreams in cartoons." (Vienna, talking about Tenley.) Now, THAT is funny. LOLOL All the Disney cracks, too. Goody Two Shoes bought it and paid for it tonight, I must say.
The entire Roz affair got discussed. For me, it was all bullshit. No one saw her on the stairs lying on top of the producer. Come on. WHO would be that stupid? Especially since they have nothing to do with each other now. Ya know, I'd buy it if they were together now. And CH would make damn sure that we knew they were together, if such were the case. Fleiss would love that. Of course, since it's all BS, that ain't gonna happen.
Poor Gia. Just couldn't tell him how she felt, and is now aware that's probably why she lost him. Gorgeous thing that she is, I thought for sure he'd get rid of Tenley first.
This Michele chick is nuts. Fun to watch. Wanted to kiss him, and he didn't want any. I thought it was pretty smart of ole Jake to 'kick her to the curb.' She is clueless. Totally. Emotionally unstable is the understatement. I was embarrassed for her.
On to Allie. If I hear 'forced to make this decision' one more time, I'll barf. You mean to tell me she didn't know, going in, that Facebook would only give her X number of days off?? Of course she knew. Got to hand it to her. She spoke of Vienna being trashed in the tabloids, and said "Stay strong." Probably just words out of Fleiss's mouth for the next Bachelorette BUT it was nice to hear, all the same.
Finally Roz comes out. I hear she gives CH hell, and I hope she does. LOL I notice one thing straight away. They're cutting every word out of her mouth. She says "Absolutely" and opens her mouth to say something else and... no. They cut her off. That whole thing about CH and his son. And tales of unicorns, and the truth. This man wouldn't know the truth if it bit him on the ass. Why would Roz lie? It's all over, now. Done deal. She's off the show.
Unless.
Unless there's something in her contract, where they can dock her a good amount of money for playing around, for inappropriate behavior. Something that's going to cost her, if she tells the real truth. Hey, it's possible. I've seen these contracts, and they OWN your ass. For years.
It gets more interesting. She asks why they didn't tape the funny business. She has a point. So does CH. There's a lot of downtime, and a producer would damn well know where to go to avoid cameras. On the steps, for instance. Not many camera crews hang out there, at night. So this point is a wash. Neither side wins.
We do learn that the producer came by where she lives, and even brought Dad with him. Doesn't mean diddley. CH says "A mountain of evidence." I wouldn't go that far. Girls have NEVER lied on a show like this, correct? And isn't it convenient that they waited until this show was shot to tell their tales? They have zero proof, according to CH. No video exists. Just a few witnesses, who could well be lying for their own reasons (they were told to? It was fun to invent?)
What if they ARE telling the truth? I haven't seen much discussion about that, but I don't keep up the way I should. If they're telling the truth, she could be sued by Fleiss, assumably. It could possibly get ugly for her. She could be still seeing this producer, for all we know. Or he could blame her for losing a choice job. One could add, where's there's smoke, this much smoke, there's probably fire. Something inappropriate probably happened. We may never know the whole story, but thanks to Steve, we'll know as much as her contract permits her to say. Which won't be a hell of a lot.
If she just responds to each woman's accusations, I'll be a happy camper. Especially the one where she was lying on him on the steps. And where WAS she that one night she wasn't in her bed and couldn't be found?
I for one hope she nailed the producer. He was probably cuter than Jake, had more on the ball. Could do more for her career, too. Depending on what career she chooses, of course. Jeez. I just heard her accuse CH of hitting on the producer's wife in New Zealand. Could she have any less class? I'm more inclined to believe the other girls, now. And I sure as hell believe she has a contract that will strangle her.
I'm just going to say this. Last summer, a similar earth shaking episode happened on Big Brother, and a girl was kicked out of the house. It was a whole lot of he said she said, but we had live feeds, so we knew a lot of it.
But they cut those feeds off at some vital periods, and of course we couldn't see into the Diary Room.
The girl came to me and wanted to tell her story. Oh yeah, I thought. This is going to be good. Then I wound up tangled in CBS legal, and it was no fun at ALL. I promised I would never tell all she told me, and she told me the whole thing. One little piece I'll share, as it's cropped up elsewhere.
She claims the Diary Room producers tried to convince her to have an affair with one of the other contestants. And that's still not as explosive as all I promised not to tell, and never will.
So Steve is brave, doing what he's doing. ABC Legal could WELL land on his ass like a ton of bricks. The thing to do, for future reference, and this is what I learned: if you land a huge tell all interview like that, don't say one damn word about it.
Keep your mouth shut. Do the interview, (mine was a radio interview,) and go on and publish it. They can sure as hell make you pull it (that's happened to me too) but in the meantime, the story is published everywhere else. Best you believe it will wind up being discussed ad nauseum on Jokers.
Back to Bachelor. Jake finally comes out. Very typical stuff here. Gia he's sorry he hurt. Allie was a big decision that hurt him. The bloopers were cute, including the obligatory fart one. Or two.
We review Vienna's affair with Jake, and onto Tenley's. Damned if they don't discuss her ex. I was wondering if this would the ONE show where we didn't hear about that ex. Mine was worse than hers, and you guys never heard about him, did ya? Hmmmm. I smell a future blog.
Speaking of liars. "I can definitely see Tenley in my life for the next 60 years." Sure you can. That why you chose Vienna?
Interesting show, in parts. A lot of it was the same old. I did enjoy the Roz shenanigans. Especially when she told Chris he'd gone after that producer's wife. LOL his face was priceless. They HAD to air that... contract or no contract, every woman in that room would have posted that somewhere.
Probably not before Steve did!!!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Feb 18: Bachelor all the way, Fantasy Suite time. Do they all accept?
And it's the fantasy dates.
Gia has a good date with him. They see the island, enjoy the natives. Boring date, for me. I bet Jake was bored too. She's a beautiful girl, but there's just not much there.
She takes him up on the fantasy suite, and we follow a pile of clothes to the bathtub, where they're in their bathing suits. I'd have been nude, don't know about you. That's what bubbles are for, you dummies. To hide parts!
We left them in the bathtub, and it's on to Horse Face's date. Her peeny weeny little voice irks me. Not as bad as Gia's, but it's still pretty bad lol! I can't wait to see her reaction to the fantasy suite.
They have a picnic, and I'm waiting for Yogi bear to show up. Pica nic!
She accepts the fantasy suite, and I'm really surprised (and disappointed lol) I so wanted to hear her honestly say "No, I'm not ready yet." Which would have been honest. But no, she caved like they all do. I have less respect for her now, because I know she wasn't comfortable with it.
Vienne and Jake just have a blast on the boat, kissing and laughing. The chemistry is incredible. I love them together, I know some don't. But I find them so damn cute :)
He tells her he's fallen for two other women, and her face falls. I feel for her. She can't picture herself without him, she tells him. Major awwww. Then she tells him she's in love with him. Awwww again. She's gonna jump all over the Fantasy Suite, this one. With both feet, no doubt. She may have snuck down to his room before. Wouldn't put it past her. Lmao~
And now it's time for the card. She asks him if he's a good cuddler, and tells him they need time alone. He's all excited too. He loves that she told him she's in love with him, of course. What man wouldn't? Hell, she brought lingerie. How smart was that? No one else ever thought of that. I know I'd have been in a black lace teddy, roflol.
And now it's Allie's phone call. I don't expect much. She's made the wrong choice, she says. NOW she says it? He's blown away, evidently. You've blown it Ally. Bet he says no.
It was hard saying bye, he says. You drove away with a piece of my heart. I don't know what to do. But. There's always a but. I put what I felt for you aside. He can't send one home to have her back. Allie all but begs. Her feelings are stronger. He says he's falling in love with the women that are there. He doesn't want her back. It's not a good idea, he says. Well, and who would he send home? Whoever he would have in the first place, I suppose. But now he's had the fantasy suites and all. He HAS gotten closer to the other women, this is true. Allie is a fool to have pulled this. If she felt that strongly, she should never have left. Period. Job or no damn job. Evidently she's ready to give it up now.
For me, Allie was a bitch since early on, always having something nasty to say about Vienna. Who never did nuthin that I saw, to deserve it. She's a character, Vienna. And I'm all for characters. Better that than being a bore. A lot of these chicks are flat boring, including my favorite, Gia. I just love her cause she's gorgeous, I have to admit. Spend a lifetime with her? God fordbid, LOL.
Chris's little chat. He's falling for all 3 women, bla blah blah. Nothing new there. I don't know why they do these talks. We learn nada. He does say he's in love with Vienna. He's connected with all 3 women, in love with each of them, he says. Now he has to send one home. He doesn't know which woman he'd pick, if he had to pick one.
Now he's looking at videos. Horse face is up first. She looks forward to travelling the world and having babies, in that order. Hell to drag a baby to Europe, it is! I bet he gives her the boot tonight. And now Gia, with that annoying voice. Every second shared we grow. Hard for me to open with. I'm falling in love with you, she says. Wants more time. GO Gia! She's my fav.
And now Vienna. Long tough journey. Want to wake up next to you. Completely in love with you. You're everything to me.
OMG he gave Tenley a rose. There goes my Gia :( Oh hell. That blows. I know he'll give one to Vienna... and yes, he did.
He has a little talk with Gia. DUMMY. Got rid of the best chick. By far. She's battling past tears. He developed stronger feelings for the other two women. She hasn't been open, she says. Not enough time, she says. She wasn't able to give him what he needed. But two other great girls. Gia is one more class act. Jake regrets this already, I'm sure.
He never saw Gia cry until tonight, and it broke his heart. Fool. Should have dumped Tenley. I wonder why he didn't?
And the previews. Tears from Jake. Tears from Vienna. He must tell Horse Face there wasn't physical chemistry there, yet he let gia go??
Why do we watch such crap? We're into love. Into romance. And it doesn't matter to me how it happens, even on a reality show. It's possible, several couples are either married or getting married. So it can happen.
I'd just like to see a Bachelor in his forties or fifties, so I could get on the damn thing. It looks like a blast to do, as long as you keep on getting the roses. And even if you don't, you get to do some hella neat things, see some great places. And have FUN.
For me, it's all about the love, all about the fun. He had neat dates on that island, this week. Beautiful place, and how romantic was that? VERY. And that's what I'm into.
Finally, a shout out to Reality Steve. We had an absolute KILLER chat last week. He is wonderful, in my not so humble opinion. He also has some great sources, let it be said. He's been right on the money all season, everything he's said. How much fun is he to have on the phone? Muchly, for sure. We'll do that again, for sure.
Gia has a good date with him. They see the island, enjoy the natives. Boring date, for me. I bet Jake was bored too. She's a beautiful girl, but there's just not much there.
She takes him up on the fantasy suite, and we follow a pile of clothes to the bathtub, where they're in their bathing suits. I'd have been nude, don't know about you. That's what bubbles are for, you dummies. To hide parts!
We left them in the bathtub, and it's on to Horse Face's date. Her peeny weeny little voice irks me. Not as bad as Gia's, but it's still pretty bad lol! I can't wait to see her reaction to the fantasy suite.
They have a picnic, and I'm waiting for Yogi bear to show up. Pica nic!
She accepts the fantasy suite, and I'm really surprised (and disappointed lol) I so wanted to hear her honestly say "No, I'm not ready yet." Which would have been honest. But no, she caved like they all do. I have less respect for her now, because I know she wasn't comfortable with it.
Vienne and Jake just have a blast on the boat, kissing and laughing. The chemistry is incredible. I love them together, I know some don't. But I find them so damn cute :)
He tells her he's fallen for two other women, and her face falls. I feel for her. She can't picture herself without him, she tells him. Major awwww. Then she tells him she's in love with him. Awwww again. She's gonna jump all over the Fantasy Suite, this one. With both feet, no doubt. She may have snuck down to his room before. Wouldn't put it past her. Lmao~
And now it's time for the card. She asks him if he's a good cuddler, and tells him they need time alone. He's all excited too. He loves that she told him she's in love with him, of course. What man wouldn't? Hell, she brought lingerie. How smart was that? No one else ever thought of that. I know I'd have been in a black lace teddy, roflol.
And now it's Allie's phone call. I don't expect much. She's made the wrong choice, she says. NOW she says it? He's blown away, evidently. You've blown it Ally. Bet he says no.
It was hard saying bye, he says. You drove away with a piece of my heart. I don't know what to do. But. There's always a but. I put what I felt for you aside. He can't send one home to have her back. Allie all but begs. Her feelings are stronger. He says he's falling in love with the women that are there. He doesn't want her back. It's not a good idea, he says. Well, and who would he send home? Whoever he would have in the first place, I suppose. But now he's had the fantasy suites and all. He HAS gotten closer to the other women, this is true. Allie is a fool to have pulled this. If she felt that strongly, she should never have left. Period. Job or no damn job. Evidently she's ready to give it up now.
For me, Allie was a bitch since early on, always having something nasty to say about Vienna. Who never did nuthin that I saw, to deserve it. She's a character, Vienna. And I'm all for characters. Better that than being a bore. A lot of these chicks are flat boring, including my favorite, Gia. I just love her cause she's gorgeous, I have to admit. Spend a lifetime with her? God fordbid, LOL.
Chris's little chat. He's falling for all 3 women, bla blah blah. Nothing new there. I don't know why they do these talks. We learn nada. He does say he's in love with Vienna. He's connected with all 3 women, in love with each of them, he says. Now he has to send one home. He doesn't know which woman he'd pick, if he had to pick one.
Now he's looking at videos. Horse face is up first. She looks forward to travelling the world and having babies, in that order. Hell to drag a baby to Europe, it is! I bet he gives her the boot tonight. And now Gia, with that annoying voice. Every second shared we grow. Hard for me to open with. I'm falling in love with you, she says. Wants more time. GO Gia! She's my fav.
And now Vienna. Long tough journey. Want to wake up next to you. Completely in love with you. You're everything to me.
OMG he gave Tenley a rose. There goes my Gia :( Oh hell. That blows. I know he'll give one to Vienna... and yes, he did.
He has a little talk with Gia. DUMMY. Got rid of the best chick. By far. She's battling past tears. He developed stronger feelings for the other two women. She hasn't been open, she says. Not enough time, she says. She wasn't able to give him what he needed. But two other great girls. Gia is one more class act. Jake regrets this already, I'm sure.
He never saw Gia cry until tonight, and it broke his heart. Fool. Should have dumped Tenley. I wonder why he didn't?
And the previews. Tears from Jake. Tears from Vienna. He must tell Horse Face there wasn't physical chemistry there, yet he let gia go??
Why do we watch such crap? We're into love. Into romance. And it doesn't matter to me how it happens, even on a reality show. It's possible, several couples are either married or getting married. So it can happen.
I'd just like to see a Bachelor in his forties or fifties, so I could get on the damn thing. It looks like a blast to do, as long as you keep on getting the roses. And even if you don't, you get to do some hella neat things, see some great places. And have FUN.
For me, it's all about the love, all about the fun. He had neat dates on that island, this week. Beautiful place, and how romantic was that? VERY. And that's what I'm into.
Finally, a shout out to Reality Steve. We had an absolute KILLER chat last week. He is wonderful, in my not so humble opinion. He also has some great sources, let it be said. He's been right on the money all season, everything he's said. How much fun is he to have on the phone? Muchly, for sure. We'll do that again, for sure.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Feb 11: More Porky's dirt!
So, I used to play poker with Porky, the hair dresser, and Gabe Kaplan (welcome back kotter, remember?) He was a dirty boy, was Gabe. I had heard bad rumors. So when he invited a young (and I do mean young - she was only 17 at the time) friend of mine named Diane to come to his house - I was worried.
Diane was a young virgin, beautiful with long black hair, huge black eyes. Knew how to use makeup, too. Wore bright red lipstick, it went well with her coloring.
When she told me she was going to dinner with Gabe - at Gabe's place - I told her it was a bad idea. I didn't believe in spreading gossip, so I didn't tell her why. In retrospect, I probably should have!
She got to his beautiful house, and he ushered her into the living room where they had some red wine (even though she was too young, and he knew it.
Soon, he went into the bathroom. When he came out, he was stark naked and in a diaper. He started talking baby talk to her, and held up a big paddle. Wanted her to beat him on the ass with it.
What she beat was feet. This was pre cell phone days, so she ran down the street and found a phone to call me. I was living in Fort Lauderdale, so it took me forty minutes to get down to Miami where he lived. She was only a few blocks away. I cruised the house - nice house. Kinky dude, though. Underage girl, too. She'd never been exposed (excuse the pun) to anything remotely like that.
Diane was a majorette like me (I think. Memory is failing me here. She might have been a cheerleader, but it seems to me she was in that shower scene.)
Another friend of mine, Donna, who was in the shower scene (the blond in the photos!) used her Porky's money to get herself fake tits. My agency handled her after Porky's, and man did she have a rack.
She flew out of town, and when she flew back, she called me, panicked. One of her tits had slipped down on the flight home. She now looked like a unicorn. I so laughed! She had to go back for another operation. I'd been considering getting mine done, but NEVER after that.
One final Porky's tale. One of the sheriff's men was a really good friend of mine, a Seminole indian. I won't name him here, we'll call him Jack. Jack was also the alligator wrangler for all those gator scenes. Jack used to get really drunk and pull these stunts... he was a stuntman.
One night, during the Porky's shoot, he called me from a bar. I could hear sirens in the background. He was drunk as cootie brown, and he just had to call and tell me what he'd done. He got in a big fight in that bar, started the fight. Threw chairs, broke tables. Had a fine old time. Got out when he heard the sirens, but only went to the pay phone out front. There he calmly stood, talking to me, whilst they were looking for him inside!
Diane was a young virgin, beautiful with long black hair, huge black eyes. Knew how to use makeup, too. Wore bright red lipstick, it went well with her coloring.
When she told me she was going to dinner with Gabe - at Gabe's place - I told her it was a bad idea. I didn't believe in spreading gossip, so I didn't tell her why. In retrospect, I probably should have!
She got to his beautiful house, and he ushered her into the living room where they had some red wine (even though she was too young, and he knew it.
Soon, he went into the bathroom. When he came out, he was stark naked and in a diaper. He started talking baby talk to her, and held up a big paddle. Wanted her to beat him on the ass with it.
What she beat was feet. This was pre cell phone days, so she ran down the street and found a phone to call me. I was living in Fort Lauderdale, so it took me forty minutes to get down to Miami where he lived. She was only a few blocks away. I cruised the house - nice house. Kinky dude, though. Underage girl, too. She'd never been exposed (excuse the pun) to anything remotely like that.
Diane was a majorette like me (I think. Memory is failing me here. She might have been a cheerleader, but it seems to me she was in that shower scene.)
Another friend of mine, Donna, who was in the shower scene (the blond in the photos!) used her Porky's money to get herself fake tits. My agency handled her after Porky's, and man did she have a rack.
She flew out of town, and when she flew back, she called me, panicked. One of her tits had slipped down on the flight home. She now looked like a unicorn. I so laughed! She had to go back for another operation. I'd been considering getting mine done, but NEVER after that.
One final Porky's tale. One of the sheriff's men was a really good friend of mine, a Seminole indian. I won't name him here, we'll call him Jack. Jack was also the alligator wrangler for all those gator scenes. Jack used to get really drunk and pull these stunts... he was a stuntman.
One night, during the Porky's shoot, he called me from a bar. I could hear sirens in the background. He was drunk as cootie brown, and he just had to call and tell me what he'd done. He got in a big fight in that bar, started the fight. Threw chairs, broke tables. Had a fine old time. Got out when he heard the sirens, but only went to the pay phone out front. There he calmly stood, talking to me, whilst they were looking for him inside!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Feb 8: All bachelor, the dreaded Family visit. Vienna's dad is a trip lol
Family visit episode. Oh boy. Is this going to fun or what?
Tyler talks about the journey. How wonderful it's been. Watch out, wrecks ahead, ole boy!
New York is the first stop. Gia can see herself permanently with him. Well no shit, they all can!
He feels like he's falling for her too. Awwww. I think I just barfed in my mouth. Yes, I like Gia. But do they all have to say the same shit all the time? He's nervous about meeting her family. Well, who wouldn't be? Way he sounds, he's gonna grill them. She talks about a bad relationship who boffed all her friends. No doubt she has baggage. But don't we all?
He says he's looking forward to meeting her family, after that tidbit of news. But there's no smile on his face. At all. Not too good a sign. Maybe it was because she basically said if they had a fight, she'd ditch him? He turned around and said something deep. "I don't like to let the sun go down on a fight." Myself, I figure the night is the best time to get over a fight.
And it's family time at Gia's house. The mom looks just like Gia, long straight hair and all. She's gonna grill the fuck out of him. Woooooooie! Oh nice, the four women thing comes up. Gia has a way about her. Great thing to say, Los.. er Ty. Silly bastard.
She keeps talking about her wall, which is a bad thing. Time to let it down before you lose a rose, wench.
Mom liked him. Wants him to heal her heart. Kind of cute, I have to admit.
He says he's not jealous, but extremely protective. One thing is close to the other, I say.
Gia feels like it went great, and Ty thinks so too. Gia uses the L word. Stupid line of the night. Have you been kissed on a stoop? Say no, and I don't want to start now. LMAO!
With Ali, we had to meet Dead Grandma first. Is this what you want to subject the guy to, straight away?? I don't think so lolol
Her family seems nice enough. Her mom and the whole physical beauty thing is great. I like Mom. She's a cool person. That fake smile of Jake's though, means he's not invested this so much. Too bad Ali didn't see that smile. Mom would accept him for a son in law, she tells Ali. Man, my mom wouldn't, after that smile. My mom could always nail a fake smile. Can your mom do the same?
What on EARTH could happen to push Ali away? According to all the spoilers I've heard, she doesn't get a rose on purpose. I don't get it.
Now he's at Horse Face's place (IE, Tenley.) This is one unattractive woman, LMAO. Here she goes dancing. Talking about her ex again, never a wise thing to do. But yes she can dance. How pretty a thing for her to do :) I loved that part of it.
Now he's going to really find out if she's over the ex. He might not want to know this lol!
Jake talks to Dad. The first dad he's dealt with. Wonder how he'll do? Is this where he learns she ain't over the ex? Jake pops that big fake smile again. He's not impressed by Dad, for sure. Although dad seems to be impressed by him. Bless Dad's heart, he's in tears. That must be so hard for him, some bastard treats your baby like that. Go Dad! Hope she doesn't wind up with Jake, Dad.
Now he asks mom about the ex. Emotional spillovers for a while, Mom says. If anyone could be fine, it would be Horse Face? Seriously that might not have been the thing to say. Jake is going to ask for her hand in marriage. I don't feel like he should do this, unless he's serious about it. Don't do it at all, for any of the women, I think.
Dad gives Jake a good, wise answer. I like Dad.
Now it's Vienna's turn, stunner that she is. She's not everybody's taste, for sure. I find her stunning. :)
She says she's never felt like this before, to Dad. This might not be what Dad wants to hear so soon, LOLOL Ole Vincent is a trip. He doesn't like the four other girls thing. He gives the princess rap. I'm not so sure I like this Dad. Sort of a redneck. Which isn't a good thing, to have a redneck for a dad in law LOL
Jake says she's brutally honest. Good thing. Go V! He's now talking about how ugly the other women were, and Mom says she's been that way all her life with jealousy. She too says she's falling for Jake. And it's evident he cares for her. No fake smiles here!
And he's back in LA, not ready for the rose ceremony. I'm eaten alive by curiosity at this point. Knock on his door. And it's Ali. Here we go. Whatever it is, it's finally going to happen. She has to choose between staying there and going back to work. Well, Jesus. Jake doesn't know what to say. What she's asking is real, you jerk. Either let her go or keep her, for real. It isn't rocket science. I think he's letting her go. He's being sneaky about it. I get 'sneaky' from all this.
And she really has to make that choice. He sure as hell didn't tell her 'stay.' Which sucks for her. The rest of what we're going to see out of Jake is all acting. He's in love with Vienna, period, the way I see it. He doesn't LIKE losing one of his harem, but this isn't killing him. At all.
It =is= killing Ali, for sure. She needs to lose Fake Jake, and go her way. He and Vienna are a match, period.
And this is gonna be SUCH a good rose ceremony LOL! I love a bit of angst with my Bachelor. Now it's time for the talk with Chris. Jake is really acting rather well. He doesn't want her to go, he says. If it was really the love of his life, he wouldn't let her go. I'm falling in love with more than one woman, that's horseshit. Jake admits it will pressure him. Quite a burden on the poor thing. Thanks for quitting your job but you're not the one, he says. So throw her out NOW big boy. And I bet that's just what he does.
This has been the MOST Drama, short of ditching your f2 for your f1.
Ali goes to talk to Chris, and we break for a commercial. Smart Ali is gonna back out at the last moment. Jake could have stopped her, and she full well knows that he didn't. He sure didn't.
You're beautiful. You're handsome. That's how they start. And she's mad at herself, for coming there not knowing. I'd be pissed at the job. She still thinks she has a shot at Jake. We know better.
Jake does tell her I don't want you to go. And about kissing her, asks her how she felt. She says 3 other girls. He says you need to weigh that. Shitty answer, for me. When she saw the other girls, she realized she had to go. "If you were mine, the choice would be easy." Good thing for her to say, and I can't blame her. She should have known about this job thing going in, the dumb shit. From HER side, this is ignorant and a stupid thing to pull. You weren't on the line tonight, he tells her. Which meant she'd have gotten a rose tonight, anyway. He told her that much.
I feel if she was the one, he could have said a hell of a lot more.
Ali has made her decision. She tells him she has to go, and she's so sorry. Stupid thing in one sense, but I'd have pulled out too, faced with that same choice. He didn't say "Definitely stay." Or anything remotely near that.
"I feel like you're slipping through my fingers and I don't know how to stop you." Tell her you love her, or let her go. My best friend Lyds says she's too good for him. I don't think that - Ali is catty as hell. I think she's smart enough to git whilst the gitting's good.
She bawls, "I hope I made the right choice." We all know you did, sweetie. We all know you did. I feel so sorry for her.
As Lyds says, he kept the one he meant to get rid of, which IS a sad thing for that girl, not killer sad for him. He is excited about the three remaining women. We know he's lying to one of them. Wonder which one? We'll know next week when he ditches one.
Meanwhile, Ali is saying "How could I have left him." I feel two ways: A) you're a DUMMY. You think you're falling in love, you go on a show like Bachelor, you see it out. DUMMY. B) You're smart. He could have tried to stop you, but he really didn't, did he?
One little "I'm falling in love with you" would have done it. She didn't get that, did she?
My main feeling is that she's smart. She did the best thing she could have, granted in a circumstance SHE set up (she had to know about the job going into the thing.) Jake could have said a lot more to ensure she'd stay.
Tyler talks about the journey. How wonderful it's been. Watch out, wrecks ahead, ole boy!
New York is the first stop. Gia can see herself permanently with him. Well no shit, they all can!
He feels like he's falling for her too. Awwww. I think I just barfed in my mouth. Yes, I like Gia. But do they all have to say the same shit all the time? He's nervous about meeting her family. Well, who wouldn't be? Way he sounds, he's gonna grill them. She talks about a bad relationship who boffed all her friends. No doubt she has baggage. But don't we all?
He says he's looking forward to meeting her family, after that tidbit of news. But there's no smile on his face. At all. Not too good a sign. Maybe it was because she basically said if they had a fight, she'd ditch him? He turned around and said something deep. "I don't like to let the sun go down on a fight." Myself, I figure the night is the best time to get over a fight.
And it's family time at Gia's house. The mom looks just like Gia, long straight hair and all. She's gonna grill the fuck out of him. Woooooooie! Oh nice, the four women thing comes up. Gia has a way about her. Great thing to say, Los.. er Ty. Silly bastard.
She keeps talking about her wall, which is a bad thing. Time to let it down before you lose a rose, wench.
Mom liked him. Wants him to heal her heart. Kind of cute, I have to admit.
He says he's not jealous, but extremely protective. One thing is close to the other, I say.
Gia feels like it went great, and Ty thinks so too. Gia uses the L word. Stupid line of the night. Have you been kissed on a stoop? Say no, and I don't want to start now. LMAO!
With Ali, we had to meet Dead Grandma first. Is this what you want to subject the guy to, straight away?? I don't think so lolol
Her family seems nice enough. Her mom and the whole physical beauty thing is great. I like Mom. She's a cool person. That fake smile of Jake's though, means he's not invested this so much. Too bad Ali didn't see that smile. Mom would accept him for a son in law, she tells Ali. Man, my mom wouldn't, after that smile. My mom could always nail a fake smile. Can your mom do the same?
What on EARTH could happen to push Ali away? According to all the spoilers I've heard, she doesn't get a rose on purpose. I don't get it.
Now he's at Horse Face's place (IE, Tenley.) This is one unattractive woman, LMAO. Here she goes dancing. Talking about her ex again, never a wise thing to do. But yes she can dance. How pretty a thing for her to do :) I loved that part of it.
Now he's going to really find out if she's over the ex. He might not want to know this lol!
Jake talks to Dad. The first dad he's dealt with. Wonder how he'll do? Is this where he learns she ain't over the ex? Jake pops that big fake smile again. He's not impressed by Dad, for sure. Although dad seems to be impressed by him. Bless Dad's heart, he's in tears. That must be so hard for him, some bastard treats your baby like that. Go Dad! Hope she doesn't wind up with Jake, Dad.
Now he asks mom about the ex. Emotional spillovers for a while, Mom says. If anyone could be fine, it would be Horse Face? Seriously that might not have been the thing to say. Jake is going to ask for her hand in marriage. I don't feel like he should do this, unless he's serious about it. Don't do it at all, for any of the women, I think.
Dad gives Jake a good, wise answer. I like Dad.
Now it's Vienna's turn, stunner that she is. She's not everybody's taste, for sure. I find her stunning. :)
She says she's never felt like this before, to Dad. This might not be what Dad wants to hear so soon, LOLOL Ole Vincent is a trip. He doesn't like the four other girls thing. He gives the princess rap. I'm not so sure I like this Dad. Sort of a redneck. Which isn't a good thing, to have a redneck for a dad in law LOL
Jake says she's brutally honest. Good thing. Go V! He's now talking about how ugly the other women were, and Mom says she's been that way all her life with jealousy. She too says she's falling for Jake. And it's evident he cares for her. No fake smiles here!
And he's back in LA, not ready for the rose ceremony. I'm eaten alive by curiosity at this point. Knock on his door. And it's Ali. Here we go. Whatever it is, it's finally going to happen. She has to choose between staying there and going back to work. Well, Jesus. Jake doesn't know what to say. What she's asking is real, you jerk. Either let her go or keep her, for real. It isn't rocket science. I think he's letting her go. He's being sneaky about it. I get 'sneaky' from all this.
And she really has to make that choice. He sure as hell didn't tell her 'stay.' Which sucks for her. The rest of what we're going to see out of Jake is all acting. He's in love with Vienna, period, the way I see it. He doesn't LIKE losing one of his harem, but this isn't killing him. At all.
It =is= killing Ali, for sure. She needs to lose Fake Jake, and go her way. He and Vienna are a match, period.
And this is gonna be SUCH a good rose ceremony LOL! I love a bit of angst with my Bachelor. Now it's time for the talk with Chris. Jake is really acting rather well. He doesn't want her to go, he says. If it was really the love of his life, he wouldn't let her go. I'm falling in love with more than one woman, that's horseshit. Jake admits it will pressure him. Quite a burden on the poor thing. Thanks for quitting your job but you're not the one, he says. So throw her out NOW big boy. And I bet that's just what he does.
This has been the MOST Drama, short of ditching your f2 for your f1.
Ali goes to talk to Chris, and we break for a commercial. Smart Ali is gonna back out at the last moment. Jake could have stopped her, and she full well knows that he didn't. He sure didn't.
You're beautiful. You're handsome. That's how they start. And she's mad at herself, for coming there not knowing. I'd be pissed at the job. She still thinks she has a shot at Jake. We know better.
Jake does tell her I don't want you to go. And about kissing her, asks her how she felt. She says 3 other girls. He says you need to weigh that. Shitty answer, for me. When she saw the other girls, she realized she had to go. "If you were mine, the choice would be easy." Good thing for her to say, and I can't blame her. She should have known about this job thing going in, the dumb shit. From HER side, this is ignorant and a stupid thing to pull. You weren't on the line tonight, he tells her. Which meant she'd have gotten a rose tonight, anyway. He told her that much.
I feel if she was the one, he could have said a hell of a lot more.
Ali has made her decision. She tells him she has to go, and she's so sorry. Stupid thing in one sense, but I'd have pulled out too, faced with that same choice. He didn't say "Definitely stay." Or anything remotely near that.
"I feel like you're slipping through my fingers and I don't know how to stop you." Tell her you love her, or let her go. My best friend Lyds says she's too good for him. I don't think that - Ali is catty as hell. I think she's smart enough to git whilst the gitting's good.
She bawls, "I hope I made the right choice." We all know you did, sweetie. We all know you did. I feel so sorry for her.
As Lyds says, he kept the one he meant to get rid of, which IS a sad thing for that girl, not killer sad for him. He is excited about the three remaining women. We know he's lying to one of them. Wonder which one? We'll know next week when he ditches one.
Meanwhile, Ali is saying "How could I have left him." I feel two ways: A) you're a DUMMY. You think you're falling in love, you go on a show like Bachelor, you see it out. DUMMY. B) You're smart. He could have tried to stop you, but he really didn't, did he?
One little "I'm falling in love with you" would have done it. She didn't get that, did she?
My main feeling is that she's smart. She did the best thing she could have, granted in a circumstance SHE set up (she had to know about the job going into the thing.) Jake could have said a lot more to ensure she'd stay.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Feb 2 - My life: First kiss
When I was 15, I went to Chateauroux, France, on an exchange program. I had two French brothers who came to stay with me that summer.
I met a friend of theirs, Bernard Pelasse, and it was love at first sight. He was six foot four to my five four. I could rest my chin comfortably on his muscled chest, and he could set his chin easily on the top of my head.
He had the deepest brown eyes, straight, longish brown hair, and a huge dimple to the left of that beautiful mouth. He was irresistible. I was totally a virgin - had never even been kissed.
We met on the Jour Du Roi festival - Day of the King. I danced with him several times that day. God, but they were (and are) so into disco! I had to learn to dance that way in a hurry too.
The next weekend, we went back to a disco we had visited the weekend before (in the USA, at that time, you had to be 18 to get into a club. Not in France!) This time, Bernard came with us.
They played a slow song, and he took me into his arms. We really didn't dance - just sort of rocked back and forth. And suddenly it happened.
He took my chin in his big hand, angled it upward, and laid his lips gently on mine.
The world spun around me, and I almost couldn't control a gasp. I was being kissed, by a romantic Frenchman, in France - for the first time!
He kissed the edges of my lips, my upper lip, my lower lip - and then he slipped his tongue into my mouth. I went frantic with not knowing what to do. My best friend Marne was sitting on one of the couches, but I couldn't just stop and ask her.
I gently rubbed his tongue with my own, and hoped I was doing it right. Meanwhile, my pulse was going wild. I could hear my heart in my ears, even over the music. And it just kept getting better. He slipped his other hand down my back to my ass, and gave it a gentle squeeze. I ran my hands into that thick, warm, brown hair. I also played lightly with his ears. I was in such heaven. So many firsts.
The next day, my French Maman took Dany (my French brother,) Bernard, and I shopping. She left Bernard and I in the back of the car. As if the night before hadn't happened, it took him forever to put his arm around me. Inch by inch it slid toward my left shoulder - and finally he held me clasped to him tightly. I could feel his heart beating madly. I know my own was.
Then he leaned over and rubbed his lips gently on mine. This time he nibbled on them, and I felt a strange heat in the depths of my belly. I ran my tongue over his teeth, and he inhaled deeply. "I love how you smell," he told me in French. He spoke no English.
"I love how you taste," I returned, breathing rapidly.
"What perfume do you wear?" He asked.
"Charley," I responded. I would wear it for years, because of this moment. I had to tell him. "You smell divine too." And he did. A musky, lemony scent - all male. I forget what he said it was.
He went for one last kiss, and Maman and Dany came back to the car, laden with bags. All Maman said was "Sois gentil avec Cathy." (Be nice to Cathy.) Bernard grinned and blushed.
We then drove to his father's patisserie - bakery. They wrapped me up something divine in white paper and red ribbon. I sat in the car and ate that apple tart, and thought about my first boyfriend. Would I ever see him after I left France? He didn't have an American sister, so he wouldn't be coming to the States.
I never saw him again, but I never forgot him, either. You never do, your first love.
Feb 2 - Bachelor all the way: Why does Allie leave next week?
So, Allie leaves next week? Will we really miss her, and all her bitching? I'm guessing not, myself.
So, Jason and Molly are getting married. Dumb, and dumber, a televised event, no less. Have they lost their minds? This was no great romance. This was him settling for something he wasn't sure he wanted. He knew he didn't want Melissa, so he settled for #2, Molly. That's just my take. This whole wedding thing is probably for the bucks. More power to them. Will they televise the divorce, too? I feel sorry for the kid in all this. Has anyone even thought of him?
Reality Steve says Allie will be the next Bachelorette. I disagree. That's Gia's role, for sure. They have her set up for it, like they set up every bache'ette. She's much prettier than the last one. Usually they choose the pretty ones. She's also much prettier than Allie will ever be. She has a decent personality, of which we haven't seen enough. Maybe we'll see more on the hometown dates.
Man, Allie's family must really be pissers if she's leaving the show after that date. That's my sense of things. That date went SO damn bad, throw in Vienna, she's out of there.
What could have happened on that date? Was Dad an asshole? Was Jake? I don't really see Jake disrespecting someone's parents, but it could have happened. A little ugly to Mom? He'd be out of there for me, for sure. I'd tell him to stuff that rose where the sun don't shine, wouldn't you?
Windymama on JU asked for hypotheses as to why Allie leaves. I will summarize some of those here, as they're pretty damn good.
Bean99 thinks it's work related, OR she's realized she doesn't care about him that much. Bean doesn't think Vienna has anything to do with it. I think Bean is wrong. Vienna is for sure involved. "I wouldn't want to be with a guy that wants to be with her" is the way Allie is thinking. And even if I don't agree with the sentiment regarding Vienna, I DO agree her not wanting Jake if he is really into someone I regard as a total doofus, if not worse.
I agree with lizanne. Allie realized the girls who put down Vienna are now gone, so she told him she's 'put it behind her' just to save face. Hell, she's put nothing behind her, and why should she? What if she knows a whole lot more about Vienna than we do? Vienna hasn't been given a bad edit. It's quite possible (indeed probable) we haven't seen what Allie has. I'd LOVE to know what she really has against Vienna. And, when she bails next week, she just might tell Jake. "I am going, but I want you to know exactly why. Any man who wants any part of Vienna, is not a man I am going to love. And now, let me tell you exactly what I have seen..." Oh yes, that plays. And plays well.
RealityChic says she decides, after the hometown date, that Jake doesn't fit into her life and then she ditches him to go back to work. I don't buy that, I just don't. She'd have known that before now. And until now, she's crazy about him. No, he insulted Mom or Dad. Something truly terrible had to happen on that date. The only reason I don't totally buy this either, is that Fleiss would have hyped the shit out of the hometown date, if something bad did happen.
KayMayxoxo puts it the best way: I'd have more respect for (girls who think Jake being into Vienna is a bad thing,) if they didn't keep accepting his rose. Allie, this means you. Bitch bitch bitch about Vienna, but then keep accepting that rose... that's just wrong. Maybe she's finally come to her senses next week, and rejects the rose before it's offered. I still want to know exactly what Vienna has done to make Allie feel this strongly, if this is what made her quit, don't you? Like ElvisandMe says, those girls in that house are all competing for the same man. Terrible source for information, wouldn't you think?
I'll leave you with the funniest thing I've seen: Jake having a girlfriend, the entire time. Doing it just 'for the money.' If you buy that, I have some nice beach front property I'd like to sell you here, in Nashville. He might be a lot of things, but he sure as hell doesn't have another girlfriend - he truly doesn't have the smarts to pull something like that off.
Answer me this: do you guys really think Jake is smart enough to have another girlfriend -and- deal with all these other women?
January 26 - Bach:Two for the price of one, out the door
This week was entertaining indeed. We had a two on one date as well as a one on one. The two on one usually means one poor chick heads for the hills.
This week, he selected Ella and Kathryn for the two one. Of course Ella is the mom, he met the kid already in a previous one on one. I didn't feel much of a spark there, and evidently, neither did Jake. He turned her loose. I think he knew he was gonna send Ella home before the date. Just a feeling I get
But wait! For 19.95... oops. Wrong blog.
Wait. He also let Kathryn go. And that wasn't really surprising either. He DID sort of ignore her during the date, and all previous dates. Not to mention, she gave him a load of shit. What man wants to hear he has a 'wall' up? He kept telling her she's gorgeous, she just didn't respond. Dummy. Hell, I didn't know who she was, before tonight. My memory isn't known for being the best, but Jeez. I feel like I know most of these women by now.
While I'm on the subject, if they were going to make Jake do the scene (throw the rose into the fire) multiple times, they might well have taken the OTHER roses out of the fire. I saw roses in the fire. Play it back, you'll see for yourself.
Except Corrie. Don't know her either.
Now, the two he let go, I didn't really know, either, I have to admit. The blonde, Ash, I felt I knew better than Jessie. Ash's number was up when he said he didn't feel the chemistry with her.
He's being very careful about who he picks and chooses, no shit at all. If he can't picture a woman as his wife, she's gone. No two ways about it.
Gia, I was happy to see (she's my fav) got the one on one. I'm glad she didn't get a one on one prior to this... earlier one on ones are notoriously fucked. See Ella and the date at the park.
Once again, Vienna was the center of not so good attention from the other girls. Jessie made the fatal mistake of telling Jake that Vienna crashed Daddy's car, and did he want to be the next daddy? He promptly let HER go. In past Bachelors, the one who rats out the unliked girl is often the one to go. Don't they watch the freaking show to KNOW that and keep their yaps shut.
My opinion on Vienna? A) they're jealous of her. She gets more Jake time than anyone. B) she's really hot, and they're like a pair of magnets together. Their body language is very telling. All of him angles toward her, and vice versa, during their time together. He's hot for her, bitches. Give it up.
And Ali, pay close attention to _. She said bad things about Vienna and where is she now? GONESVILLE is where.
I think he's really into Tenly, or Elevenly, or what's her name anyway. Again, body language. He's just worried about the ex. I don't blame him there: the cop that done her wrong. She could well still harbor feelings for him. Jake is a lot of things, but he ain't a dummy. Especially when she tells him she hasn't dated since. That ain't a red flag: it's a whole red bedspread. But. She DID get the rose on that group date. Ignore her, my ass LOL!
Back to Vienna. When they spoke together (I had to watch it twice to get beyond the body language), he tells her she eggs the other women on. Not dumb, at all. Evidently she's playful, and the other women don't get that.
January 22 Bach: How will it end? Who gets that last rose, if anyone?
Roz scandal redux
Matt Grant, London Calling - remember him? How cute he was?
He's just done an interview where he admits HE fell for a producer but 'it was nipped in the bud.' Now they didn't get thrown off the show. You mean to tell me on our season, Roz who fell for the producer... they couldn't have nipped THAT in the bud too?
Sure they could. Makes better ratings the way it is though, dontcha think?
Matt goes on to say they kept THEM apart on purpose. Now they couldn't have done that for Roz? I just don't get it. I feel so sorry for her, especially since this Matt thing has come out.
RV Rental Whooie!
So a group date takes an RV for a week. Or the WHOLE group, sounds like. And complete with noises to make "Grown men blush," This should be HOT. Sort of like Big Brother on wheels. Now all we need are the web cams. Wouldn't that be killer? Watching Bach 24/7 on the web as they RV down through Mexico? (Not that that's where they're going, just a guess on my part.)
Come on, producers, let us see allllllllll
Best guess - Jake goes home alone or with a love at the end?
For me, I'm thinking he doesn't pick anybody. He was INTO roz. I think that broke his heart when she left, and I'm not sure anyone else can pick it back up again. Tho rumor has it, he winds up with Vienna (Who, personally, I do like. I just wonder. If there's smoke (about her being disliked) is there fire? What do you think? Comment away.
Jim says Jake will indeed leave with his one true love... himself. LOL Good comment!
Cantgetenough says something interesting. Something will go wrong, she thinks. Possibly the person he picks doesn't accept. Now wouldn't THAT be kewl? Him down on one knee, and her "Get your ass up. The answer is, and always will be, no! LOSAH.
The most popular response was made by Sassy: Here's the rose, let's see where it goes. Nowhere.
Many people agreed with that one. So the rumor of Vienna could be wrong? Could Steve possibly be off on this one? He hasn't missed too many in the past, credit where credit's due. So I'm with Steve. He winds up with Vienna, engaged. Even if only for one damn day roflol
So, what do you think?
January 22 Mykonos, a blow torch and robbery
I had a new boyfriend in Iran, a friend of Marne's named Steve Costas. Steve was Greek but had been raised in America. He was delighted to come visit me in Iran. He was six feet two inches, dark hair and huge dark eyes. He wore his hair so short it was like it was shaved.
It was after we brought the car back that Steve arrived, so the city was under martial law. I took him to the bazaar and we got chased out of it. Again, one of the nasty mullahs led a crowd throwing rotten fruit.
Steve and I were lovers. It was difficult, staying with mom and dad, to find a place to make love. We finally decided on the roof, at about midnight. Might not have been our best idea. A truck drove up with a huge gun, and whenever Steve's white ass (he was tanned black, except that ass) went up in the air, the gun followed. The Iranians had some fun that night. I have to admit, I thought it was pretty funny too. I don't know how Steve didn't hear the huge gun moving, as it creaked and swayed, but he didn't. Once I told him, he was horrified and we went back downstairs and inside. Wuss!
Steve went back to the States, where he was going to Emory College with Marne, who was in law school by then. Steve dropped me a letter and told me he needed my help with a project, that it could be dangerous, and was I in? Of course I was, I told him. I was back and forth between Paris and Isfahan at the time. He wanted me to spend the summer in Greece, and I agreed. Had I known what he had in mind... I might not have agreed so quickly.
Steve told me a sad tale.
"You know my dad owns most of Mykonos."
This, I knew.
"He and my mom live for the most part in Athens, or they did. They've been together thirty years now, and nothing like this has ever happened. Cathy, my dad rents a jewelry shop on Mykonos to this bitch. They're having an affair. He spends most of his time on Mykonos these days, and it's driving my poor mother crazy."
"I'm so sorry. Mid life crisis, maybe?" I guessed.
"Whatever it is, we have to do something to break it up, or I don't know what will happen to Mom. We have to come up with something good." He looked so upset, those large brown puppy dog eyes. What was I to do?
"Well, I do have one idea. We drug the bitch, and get some gigolo to hump her. Then we take photos, and show them to your father."
This was a great idea, but there was a snag. I had no idea where to get drugs in Paris, and neither did Steve. I flew back to New York, and for once, it was totally dry.
My brother, who dealt drugs, knew just what we needed. Knock out drops, that any bartender would know how to get. Except the ones we asked, evidently. We came up perfectly dry.
It was time for Plan B.
I was in Paris at the time. We would take a train to Brindisi, in Italy, and then the ferry to Patras, in Greece. All went well until my passport was stolen.
I as usual had very little cash. I had traveler's checks, but couldn't use them on the train with no passport. I needed cigarettes. Steve made me give him a blow job in the bathroom for a pack of cigarettes. I never forgave him for that. If I'd had any sense, I'd have backed out of the whole thing right then and there. But no. I felt sorry for Sophia Costas.
I got off the train in Rome, and went to our embassy. I was able to replace the passport in one day.
We needed another idea. This one was far fetched, even for me. We would rob the woman's shop, sell all her jewelry and break her that way. Steve and his mom loved this idea. Dad owned most of Mykonos, so if we got caught, nothing would happen.
So we visited Mykonos to scope it out. Tiny village, with white washed streets that they cleaned every day. Entire village was white, except for the bright flowers people kept in window boxes. We stayed in a hotel on the hill overlooking Mykonos, and it was gorgeous.
Steve took me to the jewelry shop. It was small, with one tiny window covered by wood, over steel bars.
"How are we supposed to get in that window?" I asked him.
"I have no idea, do you?" He responded.
"I know one thing. What makes you think I'm going through that window, if we do get it open?" I was furious.
"Well, it's evident you'll have to do it, and let me in."
"And what if you run, and leave me in there? Oh no, come up with a better idea."
"Could we use acid to cut through the bars, and a blow torch for the wood?" It was all I could come up with. A more hare brained scheme was never thought of.
"Sure we can. I'll ask for acid at the boat yard, the strongest they have." He spoke fluent Greek, of course. He got the acid, and we bought a blow torch.
Then we practiced on the hotel balcony. It cleaned up the iron bars nicely, but certainly didn't eat through them or the wood that went along the top of the gate at the side of the balcony. The blow torch did nothing at all. But it was very loud.
"I'm not standing in the middle of Mykonos at three a.m. with this damn thing going off," I told him.
"No, we can't do that," he agreed.
"This isn't going to work," I told him.
"What are we going to tell Mama?" He wondered.
I told Mrs. Costas there was no way to get into that little shop. The acid didn't work. The blow torch we bought didn't work. Now, if she had keys - but she didn't. So the great Mykonos Escapade was a wash.
Except. She wouldn't let me leave until we fucked up this woman, somehow. To feed us, she made one casserole of food every three days, and only turned on the air conditioner at night. If I'd known all this before, I would have understood Mr. Costas better.
And the woman looked like a spider. She was short, squat, and had a black mustache. From what I'd seen, the jewelry shop woman was beautiful. Olive skinned, huge dark eyes. No wonder Mr. Costas had an affair with her.
I'd walk the streets of Athens, and with what little cash I had I'd buy baklava and live on it. Finally I used a dictionary, called the operator, and called Mom collect in Iran. (Try this in Greece, when you know very little Greek.) I told the operator to say Catherine P was calling collect. Catherine P was an old code we had. If I was ever in trouble, I was to say Catherine P was calling, and they'd get me the hell out of there.
I told her I was with Steve's mom (who was sitting right there.) Mom picked up on the Catherine P, and called back two days later to say Dad was sick and they needed me straight away. She sent me a ticket and I got the hell out of there. Never saw Steve again.
January 21 - Bach: What's up with Vienna? Could it be gas?
What is up with Vienna?
We're given to believe none of the women like her. Okay, why? Does she fart a lot? What could the reason be, after all? If we believe the spoilers, she's F1. So ole Jake picked a farter for a wife. Imagine!
JokerJake compares Bach to Survivor. Vienna is the target everyone is trying to get out. Yes, but why? She's not the best looking one there, or the brightest.
Susie opens a whole new can of worms. There are lots of unanswered questions, not just "Why is Vienna hated." Important questions about Jake. Does he want kids quickly or later? He really didn't say, when he was with thing and her son (yeah, I'm great on names.) Is Jake open to relocating? Who knows? As a pilot, I don't imagine that matters much to him. Just fly wherever you want. Hey, does he have his own plane? Was that little thing he flew, his? That could be a vital question, and answer the one about relo. He truly wouldn't care where he lived, if he had his own plane.
I'm more interested in Jake's family. We don't hear much about them. Does he love his mama? What is she like?
Is Jake open to relocating? Who knows? As a pilot, I don't imagine that matters much to him. Just fly wherever you want. Hey, does he have his own plane? Was that little thing he flew, his? That could be a vital question, and answer the one about relo. He truly wouldn't care where he lived, if he had his own plane.
I'm more interested in Jake's family. We don't hear much about them. Does he love his mama? What is she like?
Hey, I'm loving that he got rid of Kissless Liz. Anyone else? Kiss me, don't kiss me... I'm one scary bitch, don't come near me LOLOL. I was just glad she is GONE. It's called overplaying your hand, to the max. Either she should have stayed with the no kissing thing, and no backing down, pussyfooting around... OR she should have said, "You know what? This kissless idea seemed like a good one at the time. But it's driving me crazy now," and then planted a HUGE one on him, one where your hair stands straight up along with everything else.
Things you won't hear on the next ep of Bach
1) Your legs are too long!
2) Your boobs are too big!
3) You're just too damn honest, I can't take it anymore.
4) The real reason all the girls hate Vienna is cause she's gorgeous and funny
5) The real reason Liz left, is she finally decided to put out (all the way out) and Jake didn't want any!
6) It's time to play a hole of golf! (LOLOL)
7) See ya, Tenley (that girl is there to stay)
8) Well hey Liz! How is your day going? (Can we say gone?)
9) Can we put a couple of marshmallows on those roses at the end? At least get some USE out of them. Waste not, want not.
10) Vienna, honey, step away from the fire. It isn't good for farters :)
January 20 - Tough Personal Memory, if you can't handle abuse, skip this one please.
I told you yesterday I'd tell you the story behind my brother, so here goes. We're 13 years apart, for starters.
So when I was 4, he was 17. Bastard.
A few years ago, I was having issues with my fibro, and my ex, so I went back to my shrink. Memories began to surface. Memories about me being four, and my brother, and a giant finger being where no finger should ever be, at that age. I remember the nubby bedspread, the overhead light - and another guy who was there, some friend of his. We were playing some 'game.' And all I can tell you is that it HURT, badly.
When I was thirteen, I went to the gyno, and found out I wasn't a virgin. I always wondered why. Now I know why. What causes people to do such things? Especially to a little sister? I don't know. I do know he also robbed my piggy bank, when I was just a kid... Mom told me that one.
He's the black sheep of the family. He's dealt dope (might still, for all I know.) Faked my dad's name on a loan application for a school loan. They came after Dad on that one.
It's the finger that gets me, that wakes me up in the wee hours. I remember the pain, the confusion. Especially the confusion. Why was I going through this pain? Had I been bad? Did I deserve it somehow? It seemed I did, because he told me "If you go to mom, I'll just tell her you were bad. She'll believe me."
About 7 years ago, when this memory started bubbling up, my mom had broken her neck and was bed bound. I had moved back home to take care of them. I told them about the 'finger.' My mom promptly called my brother and asked him about it. He was horrified of course, and of course he didn't do it.
She believed him. My Dad didn't. My dad knew what he was capable of. And dad told me that two weeks before Mom passed, she admitted what my brother was, and that she believed me. Yes, it really helps to straighten all this out in my mind.
I've mostly gotten past it, altho I realize there is more to the memory. And I want to retrieve it ALL. I want to know everything that happened to me, from the finger on down the line. I don't feel like I can live a peaceful life until I do. I'm considering being hypnotized. That would bring back all the memories, I do hope and pray. Until I remember it, how can I deal with it? My shrink agrees, by the way.
And if my brother happens to read this blog some day? Don't insult me by telling me it never happened. It happened. I remember everything about it. The size of your finger. The pain of it. Oh yes, and the 'pain game.' That one went like this:
Who could pull the other person's finger, and cause more pain? I was 4, you were 17. You do the math. Bet I hurt you a lot, didn't I?
I've gotten past all this. I've forgiven you, but I haven't forgotten. A simple "I'm sorry" would go a long way to heal me. I know I'll never get that, and you know what? That's okay, too. I know what happened, and now a bunch of other people do, too. Oh, and it's in my book coming out. If just one person reads it, remembers a finger in their own life, and gets help for it - my job is done.
January 20 - My Cousin the Hit Man (yes he got caught and paid for it)
More of my life; my cousin, the hitman
I had a cousin I loved more than life itself. When she died at 22, I was only 17, and I met her brother for the first time at her funeral. She and her brother were from Manhattan, and had had very rough lives - they'd come home from school, and the family would be gone from the hotel, as they skipped out to pay the rent!
So they'd go to Grand Central Station and hope to catch up with their parents. If that didn't happen, they were on the streets. Jay especially found himself on the streets often. Young, he learned to steal from markets, and sleep in Central Park.
He also got hooked up with very bad people. When I met him, we discussed our lives. I told him about my girl's school and my horse, and he laughed at me. Hurt, I asked him why he laughed. Because we were so different, he said. So very different. He'd done bad things.
Like what, I asked him?
Like kill, he responded.
He was a hitman.
I was in solid, jaw dropping shock when I heard this. I looked deeply into those grey eyes.... and there was indeed something missing there. They were empty.
He told me he looked over every contract carefully and killed only those who 'deserved to die.' Other killers. Drug dealers. I didn't know what the hell to say, I really didn't. I was just a baby at the time. Just 17. Can you imagine learning something like that about your family at that age? He told me "As of tonight, I'm out of your life forever. I don't want my life touching yours."
I asked, Don't I get an opinion?
No, he said, you don't. And I didn't hear from him for thirty years.
My beloved cousin Tooie, his sister, had just died of cancer. So I couldn't discuss it with her. Evidently I couldn't discuss it with my parents, either. I did discuss it with my mother. She said, 'He's just trash. Don't even bring up his name around me."
He was more than just trash. He got caught, did time in prison. Found God. Got out, married a preacher's daughter, and lived a righteous life. So people can change. My parents never believed it though, and never wanted me to have anything to do with him. Which caused me a great deal of pain.
When he first called, after thirty years, he said "I just got married. We're driving back through Tennessee. Can we stop and see you?"
I said "Of course."
My mother flipped a gasket when I told her. "I don't want him in this house."
"Well, it's not very biblical to not forgive someone," I said.
"What he's done is unforgiveable," she said. But she allowed him the visit, for me. And it went ok. Not great, but OK. His wife was charming. Every time I said "shit' or "God" she had something to say, and I generally don't care for people like that. But she loved Jay, George as she called him, and so did I.
He died five years ago, of a stroke, a changed man. I don't know whether he went to heaven or hell. Supposedly heaven, since he repented what he'd done, and he'd paid for it.
But did he really repent? Some of the things he said to me --after those thirty years-- indicated he'd get back into 'the business' if he could. If the contract was good enough. It would have broken his wife's heart, and mine as well.
He died before he ever got the chance.
It gives me a different outlook on life. I've been raised really well, spoiled actually. Rode hunters most of my life. Went to that excusive girl's school. Yet look what I had for a cousin. A hitman. In the flesh. I asked him what he felt when he did it. "Nothing," he responded. "Like taking out the trash."
How could ANYONE feel that way about taking another human being's life? It's the one thing I've never understood. His sister, by the way, was a Broadway actress before she died. She was in the original Sound of Music on Broadway. A more beautiful person you'd never meet, with her golden brown eyes, her sandy brown hair. And a more loving soul. It damn near killed me when she died. Damn near killed Jay, too. Loving brother, loving cousin, hitman. Does life make any less sense than that? I know I don't get it.
I know, at seventeen, I got it even less. Our family is small. I have the three cousins, one aunt. Two parents. Now I have the one brother left, and one cousin no one keeps in touch with. She's a hard case (and why not, after what her life has been?)
I don't keep in much contact with my half brother, either, and his is a story for another night. Tomorrow, maybe.
For now, let it be known that I miss the Jay I knew, the goodness in the boy I knew. And I pray that wherever he is, he's at peace.
January 20 - Who is the next bachelorette?
Bachelor
So who is next Bachelorette? Is it Gia, like Starry54 said? OMG she's sure gorgeous, but I haven't seen enough of her to know if she's Ette material or no.
It's tough for me to see Jake taking shots over the bungee thing. So he's afraid of heights. Most of us are. Doesn't mean he isn't a really good pilot, probably. I think it shows bravery for him to have taken that leap, which he sure lord did. Even if she did have to comfort him before he stepped out into that unknown.
What's all this about Vienna? She just seems a funny, warm, loving chick to me. What is the house seeing that we aren't? She's absolutely great with Jake, btw. I don't get all the house hatred for her, unless they see how he is with her, and they're all jealous. Could be.
Wow. Throwing 2 roses into the fire next week. Is it honesty, or is he playing the rest of them? I prefer to think it's honesty. If Jake doesn't think a woman is wife material, he's going to ditch her, and that is that. And that is precisely what he does, at the rose ceremony. We've seen rose ceremonies where the women walk off, why not one where the man bails on two women? I say, good for Jake.
January 12 - Devil made me do it: Dating a Satanist in Paris, with his own chateau
Back to the Satanist, Guy Fradin. I promised you the end of the story.
As you'll recall, he moved in and I could NOT get him out. I began to lose serious weight, and grew very weak. My parents were living in Iran. I told them I was in trouble, and they flew me in.
Well, my mom found a priest who offered to help. One problem.
I could not get into the church. No way. I tried to walk in the doors, but it was like something was stopping me. So that wasn't such a good idea.
A friend of mine, Bernard (a very funny Irish guy,) flew to Italy and got me holy water blessed by the pope. After dinner one night, whilst watching TV, I threw it on Guy. His face instantly became covered in pussy blisters. He cried out in pain, then said, "Little girl, you won't get rid of me. Not like this. Not ever."
I was desperate. I weighed eighty five pounds, down from one oh five. I couldn't live much longer like this, with a psychic vampire sucking my energy, and living off it.
Then mom met Elly, a white psychic. Her husband worked with my dad in Esfahan at the DuPont plant they were building. They had heard of my problem. All the Americans in Iran, had heard of it. Mom was desperate too, she asked anyone and everyone for help.
Elly brought me back to Iran, and taught me psychic self defense. It's easy, but it takes a serene mind. You envision yourself wrapped in white light, thickly, no holes, like a covering of cotton all over your body, from your head to your feet. Then you say:
"I cover myself with the white light and love of Christ that no evil, malicious, or maladjusted spirits from this or the other side may enter, only those on my own or a higher spiritual level. In Christ's name, Amen."
She also taught me the Three Fold Law. "I return what is sent to me with love, three times. Amen." This one is for when someone curses you, or wishes you ill. You return it three fold, with love. And whatever they wished on you, they get back, three times stronger.
The first thing that happened when I got back from Iran after meeting Elly, was that I took a bath. I feel filthy after I travel. I was sitting in hot water and bubbles, totally alone, when suddenly something shoved me under the water. I didn't even have time to take a breath.
I invoked the Three Fold Law, with love, in a hurry. And popped up out of the bath. The love part is important, Elly said. So I thought of Guy as he was when I first met him, and was able to send the thoughts with love.
I got a phone call from the hospital, in an hour after the bath. Guy had been hit by a taxi, and broke his leg. That Three Fold Law really works, I told myself. Now if the covering of white light also works, I'd be out of this whole nightmare.
I said the prayer every night and every morning, and life began to look up. I gained my weight back, and looked forward to eating. Guy didn't leave me totally alone. He still got way drunk, came over screaming, and I'd have to call the police to get rid of him.
He called me one day and told me he'd finally inherited his money, and he wanted to buy me a Christian Dior custom fur. Sure, I said, not believing him for a minute. We went to Dior, to the second floor, where the custom furs were. I found a monster: a black cape, as big as a bed spread. This was 1978, I think, and it was 20,000 dollars. That was a LOT for a coat back then.
Princess Grace of Monaco was in Dior, and pointed to my fur. She was told it was sold. I felt badly for her: I didn't believe for a minute Guy would really buy me that coat.
Two weeks went by. My best friend Marne from the States came and visited. We were sitting on the couch talking when a knock on the door came. It was a dude in a brown uniform, with this huge bag.
I unzipped the bag, and that incredible black diamond mink fell out all over the floor.
It was mine.
Guy tried to take it back, on several occasions. Then he made a mistake. He gave me an early Christmas present: A trip on the Concorde to New York.
I went, and took the mink. I went to Christian Dior in New York, and asked them to initial it for me, then to store it. I knew I was moving back to the States within the year. I left that coat there, and Guy never saw it again :)
I never had trouble with Guy again, after I learned the I cover prayer. I rarely even saw him, except when he'd get drunk and come over. There were no more coven meetings at my apartment.
One last thing happened. I moved back to the States, met a guy named Lynn, and moved to Ft. Lauderdale with him.
One day I was spring cleaning and I came across Guy's red knife he cut steak with. Super sharp. Wanting nothing of Guy's, I threw it in the trash and carried it to the dumpster.
It went through the trash bag and pegged my foot to the floor. Blood was everywhere. I drove myself to the ER, and got four stitches. Poor Lynn came home to an open condo, with bloody footprints all over the floor, and me gone.
I called Elly. She said to take anything metal I had from Guy and throw it in the ocean. I took that knife, and a necklace of a Saint he'd given me. Swam out as far as I could, and then threw them as far I could.
I never heard from Guy again, and nothing has ever happened since.
January 18 I heard a muderer confess - think they ever jailed him?
My Life
Years ago, I heard a murderer confess in a bar. How he did it (strangled her) where he did it (behind another bar) and who it was (Vanderbilt coed.) I told police. Dod they ever act?
Hell no they didn't. Hugh Bennett still walks the streets a free man. I spoke to the cops again 10 years ago. They're using the case as a teaching case now. They lost my information. Ergo, no arrest. I gave it to them again. No Statute of limitations on murder.
This isn't the first time I've published this story. Some day, Hugh, you're going down.
Years ago, I heard a murderer confess in a bar. How he did it (strangled her) where he did it (behind another bar) and who it was (Vanderbilt coed.) I told police. Dod they ever act?
Hell no they didn't. Hugh Bennett still walks the streets a free man. I spoke to the cops again 10 years ago. They're using the case as a teaching case now. They lost my information. Ergo, no arrest. I gave it to them again. No Statute of limitations on murder.
This isn't the first time I've published this story. Some day, Hugh, you're going down.
January 14 - Porky's from an insider's point of view
My Past
Several of you may know I did Porky's, the film. I was a majorette, in the shower scene. Naked. I was told "This film will never make it out of the box office. It's just a tax write off for the Canadian producers." That said, I felt like why NOT get naked? No one will ever see it anyway.
Famous last words. The film is a cult classic. It shows at least once a month somewhere in the world. As I was the ONLY girl who showed full frontal nudity, I'm out there. There's a big fat chick in the way. As she moves to the right, you see me behind her to the left, snatch and all, marching.
That was a nasty set. You see the scene in the bar where they're all dancing, and all the cars in the parking lot? They'd rented priceless old cars for that, and all the extras screwed in the back seats. You can actually see those cars moving up and down on the set.
I played poker every night with Porky and the hair dresser, and assorted stars who came through there. Remember Gabe Kaplan? I had a little 17 year old pretty friend he was interested in. Thirty or fourty at the time, he was. She says he wanted her to come out of the bathroom, find him masturbating, and beat him for it! She called me from his house, flipped out. I drove down there to get her.
Just another interesting night on the set :)
Several of you may know I did Porky's, the film. I was a majorette, in the shower scene. Naked. I was told "This film will never make it out of the box office. It's just a tax write off for the Canadian producers." That said, I felt like why NOT get naked? No one will ever see it anyway.
Famous last words. The film is a cult classic. It shows at least once a month somewhere in the world. As I was the ONLY girl who showed full frontal nudity, I'm out there. There's a big fat chick in the way. As she moves to the right, you see me behind her to the left, snatch and all, marching.
That was a nasty set. You see the scene in the bar where they're all dancing, and all the cars in the parking lot? They'd rented priceless old cars for that, and all the extras screwed in the back seats. You can actually see those cars moving up and down on the set.
I played poker every night with Porky and the hair dresser, and assorted stars who came through there. Remember Gabe Kaplan? I had a little 17 year old pretty friend he was interested in. Thirty or fourty at the time, he was. She says he wanted her to come out of the bathroom, find him masturbating, and beat him for it! She called me from his house, flipped out. I drove down there to get her.
Just another interesting night on the set :)
January 14 - Kiss me, don't kiss me
Bachelor
What's this about Bachelor Pad? Bachelor All Stars? OMG the infighting could be HUGE. The love could be huge too. I could see several hook ups. Dee Ann would hook up with someone, for sure. She's determined.
As far as the scandal, this photo is ugly. I don't believe she would have gone for anything that ugly next to Jake, who IS cute.
Ugly producer
Jay Leno did a funny skit about Elizabeth and the (long) note she wrote Jake. Won't kiss him as long as he's kissing other girls. I don't see this working too long. It might be mysterious right off the bat, but Jake will get bored with the idiot who won't kiss him.
What's this about Bachelor Pad? Bachelor All Stars? OMG the infighting could be HUGE. The love could be huge too. I could see several hook ups. Dee Ann would hook up with someone, for sure. She's determined.
As far as the scandal, this photo is ugly. I don't believe she would have gone for anything that ugly next to Jake, who IS cute.
Ugly producer
Jay Leno did a funny skit about Elizabeth and the (long) note she wrote Jake. Won't kiss him as long as he's kissing other girls. I don't see this working too long. It might be mysterious right off the bat, but Jake will get bored with the idiot who won't kiss him.
January 11 - Bach: The photo shoot, face suckage
First date
Photo shoot, featuring all women. Hal is fashion director. Corrie reads it. Rox, Gia models.
Gia wears bikinis mostl she says. Christina wears green, with envy, we see. She's freaking out with wet hands.
We see the shoot. Roz looks great. She shows off a little too much. Hoo hah showing!
Wrap party
Roz looks as fake as Angelina Jolie, my best friend Lyds says. Fully botoxed at 28. Imagine. How can she even smile? Evidently she's attractive - and not just to Jake, we're going to find out.
Gia is stunning. My favorite. Ash wraps herself around him in the pool like a boa.
Christina for me is ugly. And shes desperate. Doesn't look at him when she talks to him. Ohhh Jake says she's had too much to drink. Way to impress a date, Chris!
Roz wants to make an impression, she says as she takes him to the roof. He tells her she's the pro at photos. They do a lip lock. He says she's mysterious and out of his comfort zone. He grabs the rose! Chris is in drunken tears.
Then he presents roz with the rose. Roz, rose. Goes together. Or does it? Did anybody notice she looked like crap in the group shot, or is it just Lyds and me?
Now we have, Allie come fly. Ally is the sky with diamonds?
Funny, but Jake said "I'm so glad it's Ally." Hey, didn't he pick her? Or could it be... the producers pick these dates? Who would have guessed? Snark! They take off on a bike, her in her yellow dress.
Jake says he has a huge surprise for Ally. Not the diamonds? She's bitching about the small plane. She doesn't like small spaces. He totally checks out the plane, even climbing on the wings. She's not so enthusiastic. Lyds is calling her Little Miss Sunshine, roflol. I'm thinking she's pretty brave, to have been so scared about that plane. You'd think he'd look into who was scared to fly before he chose a one on one, but that could just be me SNARK!
Lyds is making predictions. Ally is the new Bachelorette, and Gia will be a spokesperson on a "hip and trendy" What's Hot and What's Not show. And for one of mine: Chris does a spot for Alcoholics Anon! SNARK
Ali tells Jake she has a list of J's, and he's the last one in a long line. She even says the names LOL! Poor Jake.
Jake liplocks Ali, and this time HE goes for it. He's into her. And then - Chicago! One of my favorite bands for sure. Lucky them. They have one hell of an ending kiss, and the date is over.
Then we have a teaser for the Roz scandal. Wonder how Jake is gonna feel about that? He DID give her a rose.
Onto the next date. A park to themselves.
Meanwhile, Michelle didn't get a date, so.... she's packing. Other girls saying give him a chance. Meanwhie, she's packing.
Elizabeth has written him a note. Cheezy, to be sure. Along this amazing journey? Did she HAVE to say that? And she tells him if he's going to kiss her, ONLY her. Don't kiss me unless you only are going to kiss me. Jake says I can do that.
Vienna tells him a secret. She was engaged. And she doesn't get to finish, when another girl breaks in.
He gives Kissless Elizabeth the rose. I don't like ole Liz. We'll see how far she gets.
At the cocktail party, Michelle is crying AGAIN. And she wonders why she didn't get a date? The new spokesperson for Puffs, and the latest bipolar drug, Lyds says. ROFLOL SNARK!
And now the Rox affair. We don't get to hear much of what she says. It just happens, is it. Then, it's pack your bags. We don't know really what happened. Yes, they fired the staffer. But what happened? It isn't right that we don't know more of what Roz said, her side of the story. And we probably never will, as Lyds says, because she's under contract.
Poor bastard Jake. Yay he got rid of Christina. Man does have some taste.
OK now who leaves next week? And what is the reason? I'll have my ear to my sources for sure.
Reading the forum, KathieA has a point: Nobody died, get the fuck over it. Kayla08 said what I'm thinking. All those girls and they didn't notice THAT going on? How clueless are they? Bet if I'd been there, I'd have known.
Personally, I'd like to hear Roz's and the producer's side to all this. Was there even a relationship? Who knows?
Photo shoot, featuring all women. Hal is fashion director. Corrie reads it. Rox, Gia models.
Gia wears bikinis mostl she says. Christina wears green, with envy, we see. She's freaking out with wet hands.
We see the shoot. Roz looks great. She shows off a little too much. Hoo hah showing!
Wrap party
Roz looks as fake as Angelina Jolie, my best friend Lyds says. Fully botoxed at 28. Imagine. How can she even smile? Evidently she's attractive - and not just to Jake, we're going to find out.
Gia is stunning. My favorite. Ash wraps herself around him in the pool like a boa.
Christina for me is ugly. And shes desperate. Doesn't look at him when she talks to him. Ohhh Jake says she's had too much to drink. Way to impress a date, Chris!
Roz wants to make an impression, she says as she takes him to the roof. He tells her she's the pro at photos. They do a lip lock. He says she's mysterious and out of his comfort zone. He grabs the rose! Chris is in drunken tears.
Then he presents roz with the rose. Roz, rose. Goes together. Or does it? Did anybody notice she looked like crap in the group shot, or is it just Lyds and me?
Now we have, Allie come fly. Ally is the sky with diamonds?
Funny, but Jake said "I'm so glad it's Ally." Hey, didn't he pick her? Or could it be... the producers pick these dates? Who would have guessed? Snark! They take off on a bike, her in her yellow dress.
Jake says he has a huge surprise for Ally. Not the diamonds? She's bitching about the small plane. She doesn't like small spaces. He totally checks out the plane, even climbing on the wings. She's not so enthusiastic. Lyds is calling her Little Miss Sunshine, roflol. I'm thinking she's pretty brave, to have been so scared about that plane. You'd think he'd look into who was scared to fly before he chose a one on one, but that could just be me SNARK!
Lyds is making predictions. Ally is the new Bachelorette, and Gia will be a spokesperson on a "hip and trendy" What's Hot and What's Not show. And for one of mine: Chris does a spot for Alcoholics Anon! SNARK
Ali tells Jake she has a list of J's, and he's the last one in a long line. She even says the names LOL! Poor Jake.
Jake liplocks Ali, and this time HE goes for it. He's into her. And then - Chicago! One of my favorite bands for sure. Lucky them. They have one hell of an ending kiss, and the date is over.
Then we have a teaser for the Roz scandal. Wonder how Jake is gonna feel about that? He DID give her a rose.
Onto the next date. A park to themselves.
Meanwhile, Michelle didn't get a date, so.... she's packing. Other girls saying give him a chance. Meanwhie, she's packing.
Elizabeth has written him a note. Cheezy, to be sure. Along this amazing journey? Did she HAVE to say that? And she tells him if he's going to kiss her, ONLY her. Don't kiss me unless you only are going to kiss me. Jake says I can do that.
Vienna tells him a secret. She was engaged. And she doesn't get to finish, when another girl breaks in.
He gives Kissless Elizabeth the rose. I don't like ole Liz. We'll see how far she gets.
At the cocktail party, Michelle is crying AGAIN. And she wonders why she didn't get a date? The new spokesperson for Puffs, and the latest bipolar drug, Lyds says. ROFLOL SNARK!
And now the Rox affair. We don't get to hear much of what she says. It just happens, is it. Then, it's pack your bags. We don't know really what happened. Yes, they fired the staffer. But what happened? It isn't right that we don't know more of what Roz said, her side of the story. And we probably never will, as Lyds says, because she's under contract.
Poor bastard Jake. Yay he got rid of Christina. Man does have some taste.
OK now who leaves next week? And what is the reason? I'll have my ear to my sources for sure.
Reading the forum, KathieA has a point: Nobody died, get the fuck over it. Kayla08 said what I'm thinking. All those girls and they didn't notice THAT going on? How clueless are they? Bet if I'd been there, I'd have known.
Personally, I'd like to hear Roz's and the producer's side to all this. Was there even a relationship? Who knows?
January 11 - More of the past, devil worship
The more I write this autobiography, the more comes back. This whole thing with a devil worshipper in France is really disturbing.
He sure was good looking though :) Until I found out what he was. What he did. He was the head of a coven of devil worshippers. Satanists. Now I'm not the most religious person, but I do believe in God. Which means the devil exists, too.
And I know a lot more about the devil than I should.
Guy, the Satanist, was always making deals with the devil. You do this for me, I'll do that for you. He had a group over to my apartment three times, to worship Satan. I could NOT get rid of him. The police were involved.... they threw him out of my place several times, but said if he didn't physically hurt me, there wasn't much they could do.
They'd throw him out, he'd come back. And that's how it went until I met a white psychic, who taught me psychic self defense. And that was the end of Guy and me.
Is he still alive? I researched Guy Fradin in Paris, and saw some important guy. Wasn't him for sure. Could he still be alive, drinking the way he was? Unless he quit, I seriously doubt it.
I'm sure his Satan worshipping family is still at it, in their chateau. Been at it for many years. His father, his father's father and so on.
I saw that chateau, and the markings, the pentagram, under the rug in Guy's room. Looked to be laid out in old blood. No, not kidding. It really happened. Long, long time ago. Late 70's. I was twenty one at the time, and not all that bright, or I wouldn't have gotten myself into that mess.
Well, I did get me into it. But I got me out of it too, thanks to my white psychic friend. And I got a beautiful mink coat out of it too.
A story for another day.
He sure was good looking though :) Until I found out what he was. What he did. He was the head of a coven of devil worshippers. Satanists. Now I'm not the most religious person, but I do believe in God. Which means the devil exists, too.
And I know a lot more about the devil than I should.
Guy, the Satanist, was always making deals with the devil. You do this for me, I'll do that for you. He had a group over to my apartment three times, to worship Satan. I could NOT get rid of him. The police were involved.... they threw him out of my place several times, but said if he didn't physically hurt me, there wasn't much they could do.
They'd throw him out, he'd come back. And that's how it went until I met a white psychic, who taught me psychic self defense. And that was the end of Guy and me.
Is he still alive? I researched Guy Fradin in Paris, and saw some important guy. Wasn't him for sure. Could he still be alive, drinking the way he was? Unless he quit, I seriously doubt it.
I'm sure his Satan worshipping family is still at it, in their chateau. Been at it for many years. His father, his father's father and so on.
I saw that chateau, and the markings, the pentagram, under the rug in Guy's room. Looked to be laid out in old blood. No, not kidding. It really happened. Long, long time ago. Late 70's. I was twenty one at the time, and not all that bright, or I wouldn't have gotten myself into that mess.
Well, I did get me into it. But I got me out of it too, thanks to my white psychic friend. And I got a beautiful mink coat out of it too.
A story for another day.
January 8 - my ex, an ugly story, skip if you like
More on the Book
I am writing about my ex today. I met him in Paris, he's from St. Malo, and he looks JUST like Bon Jovi, if you find that type attractive. Evidently, I did. My mother took one look and said he looked like a terrorist. Why oh why didn't I listen to her?
I spent a summer in St. Malo with him, then he came to the States with me. The only way he could stay (and we both wanted him to stay) was to get married. So we did. We eloped with my parents in the back of the car.
Andre understood NONE of the ceremony: I had to kick him in leg to say "I do." We had it all set up. I kick you in the leg, you say "I do." And it worked.
Unfortunately.
The marriage did not work out in rather a spectacular way including abuse, starvation, and thievery. I will probably go into it more in tomorrow's blog, when I type it up for the book.
Did I mention he was probably fooling around? Never could prove that, but I was sure he was. By then I'd sure kicked him out of MY bed, and Andre was one horny dude.
I went back to California, got all the furniture (it was all mine), all the pots and pans, AND my three cats (one of whom was arguably his.) Packed all this up and drove it back in a HUGE truck to Nashville. You have lived until you've driven 1000 miles with 3 screaming Siamese in a truck!
By the way, I got revenge from all this. More on that tomorrow.
My girlfriend just said that Vienna won the Kentucky Derby roflol~ she shall henceforth be known as Horse Face!
I am writing about my ex today. I met him in Paris, he's from St. Malo, and he looks JUST like Bon Jovi, if you find that type attractive. Evidently, I did. My mother took one look and said he looked like a terrorist. Why oh why didn't I listen to her?
I spent a summer in St. Malo with him, then he came to the States with me. The only way he could stay (and we both wanted him to stay) was to get married. So we did. We eloped with my parents in the back of the car.
Andre understood NONE of the ceremony: I had to kick him in leg to say "I do." We had it all set up. I kick you in the leg, you say "I do." And it worked.
Unfortunately.
The marriage did not work out in rather a spectacular way including abuse, starvation, and thievery. I will probably go into it more in tomorrow's blog, when I type it up for the book.
Did I mention he was probably fooling around? Never could prove that, but I was sure he was. By then I'd sure kicked him out of MY bed, and Andre was one horny dude.
I went back to California, got all the furniture (it was all mine), all the pots and pans, AND my three cats (one of whom was arguably his.) Packed all this up and drove it back in a HUGE truck to Nashville. You have lived until you've driven 1000 miles with 3 screaming Siamese in a truck!
By the way, I got revenge from all this. More on that tomorrow.
My girlfriend just said that Vienna won the Kentucky Derby roflol~ she shall henceforth be known as Horse Face!
January 8 - Roz telling/not telling Jake about her son
Bachelor
I am a bigtime Bachelor fan. And I have my ears in some interesting places. So if you don't want to be spoiled, I suggest you don't read this blog entry.
I find the women this season interesting, don't you? Ga is beautiful, in particular. Supposedly she makes it to the final four alongside Tenley, Ali, and Vienna. Also supposedly Vienna wins the pilot, if you can believe my sources.
I don't think Vienna is all that hot. Now if I heard Gia would be F1 I'd buy it.
Moving right along. Seems there's a scandal.The Rozlyn scandal (if I'm spelling her name right, that is.) Let's try to sort it all out in order.
Roz has a 7 year old son that she was promised she could talk to every day, and that she was promised would be flown out to see her. We've seen THAT happen enough, it makes total sense to me, and probably to Roz, as well.
OK, problem. Roz's ex didn't sign the paper saying they could show the kid on TV. So the planned flight in and outing of course didn't happen.
That's not the scandal, though. It goes something like this: producers told Roz not to tell Jake about her son. Insisted on it, according to my source. To make matters worse, the other girls are all asked "What do you think about Roz not telling Jake about her son?"
BIG surprise, one of the women tells Roz about this little question and... the shit hits the proverbial fan. Supposedly Roz is yelling about the show lying to her, and the show, well, being the show, just wants to be rid of the problem.
Enter the Scandal Part Deux. There's a producer who's been very good to Roz. Talked to her, took care of her though all this. The producer, no less, admits he fell for Roz and this is known as 'inappropriate behavior' on the part of the producer. Yes, this could affect the show. But the man never admitted to kissing her, screwing her, or anything else. Still, this is 'inappropriate behavior.'
So what's the upshot? The producer is fired, AND... Roz is evicted from the show. First she's lied to (that she can see her son, and you KNOW the PTB knew the ex hadn't agreed to that) and then the one person who's decent to her gets fired. And she herself gets dumped on what promises to be quite the episode.
Over what? A producer sharing some things he shouldn't (if he did that much) with a contestant? Mind you, zero sex scandal. Some of the girls admit flirting was going on, and you'll for sure hear about that. But you won't hear about the sex because, according to my source, there wasn't any.
I'm not the only one who heard this story. So did Reality Steve, and he has other juicy details you can read on his blog.
I simply feel badly for Roz. First, she didn't get the promised play date with her son, which would have been kewl for both of them. Then she has some producer fall for her, and she is removed because of it. Now, I've read nowhere that she was into this producer. For all I know, she just thought of him as a friend.
But she was causing trouble. She was told not to tell Jake about her son yet, and then she was told by a girl that the girl was asked to respond to why she hadn't told Jake yet. That is just sleazy, for me. Bachelor has done some sleazy things, but to then make sure this girl gets thrown off the show? I don't think that's right at all, do you guys?
I am a bigtime Bachelor fan. And I have my ears in some interesting places. So if you don't want to be spoiled, I suggest you don't read this blog entry.
I find the women this season interesting, don't you? Ga is beautiful, in particular. Supposedly she makes it to the final four alongside Tenley, Ali, and Vienna. Also supposedly Vienna wins the pilot, if you can believe my sources.
I don't think Vienna is all that hot. Now if I heard Gia would be F1 I'd buy it.
Moving right along. Seems there's a scandal.The Rozlyn scandal (if I'm spelling her name right, that is.) Let's try to sort it all out in order.
Roz has a 7 year old son that she was promised she could talk to every day, and that she was promised would be flown out to see her. We've seen THAT happen enough, it makes total sense to me, and probably to Roz, as well.
OK, problem. Roz's ex didn't sign the paper saying they could show the kid on TV. So the planned flight in and outing of course didn't happen.
That's not the scandal, though. It goes something like this: producers told Roz not to tell Jake about her son. Insisted on it, according to my source. To make matters worse, the other girls are all asked "What do you think about Roz not telling Jake about her son?"
BIG surprise, one of the women tells Roz about this little question and... the shit hits the proverbial fan. Supposedly Roz is yelling about the show lying to her, and the show, well, being the show, just wants to be rid of the problem.
Enter the Scandal Part Deux. There's a producer who's been very good to Roz. Talked to her, took care of her though all this. The producer, no less, admits he fell for Roz and this is known as 'inappropriate behavior' on the part of the producer. Yes, this could affect the show. But the man never admitted to kissing her, screwing her, or anything else. Still, this is 'inappropriate behavior.'
So what's the upshot? The producer is fired, AND... Roz is evicted from the show. First she's lied to (that she can see her son, and you KNOW the PTB knew the ex hadn't agreed to that) and then the one person who's decent to her gets fired. And she herself gets dumped on what promises to be quite the episode.
Over what? A producer sharing some things he shouldn't (if he did that much) with a contestant? Mind you, zero sex scandal. Some of the girls admit flirting was going on, and you'll for sure hear about that. But you won't hear about the sex because, according to my source, there wasn't any.
I'm not the only one who heard this story. So did Reality Steve, and he has other juicy details you can read on his blog.
I simply feel badly for Roz. First, she didn't get the promised play date with her son, which would have been kewl for both of them. Then she has some producer fall for her, and she is removed because of it. Now, I've read nowhere that she was into this producer. For all I know, she just thought of him as a friend.
But she was causing trouble. She was told not to tell Jake about her son yet, and then she was told by a girl that the girl was asked to respond to why she hadn't told Jake yet. That is just sleazy, for me. Bachelor has done some sleazy things, but to then make sure this girl gets thrown off the show? I don't think that's right at all, do you guys?
January 7 Iran and current
Memories of Iran
I drove from Paris to Iran, in the late 70s. With my luck, the revolution broke out the very day we crossed the border into Iran from Turkey. Of course we had the radio on, but who understood it? Not my Irish friend Bernard, and not me - though I did speak a bit of Farsee.
We got to Isfahan at nine, and curfew was at nine. I talked a soldier into letting us drive to mom and dad' s house. We were followed by two tanks and six jeeps, each with guns trained on us.
We came around the big circle, and the command was barked to Stop! Berhnard didn't understand, and kept going. I yelled at him to stop. Immediately there was something cold in my ear - the muzzle of a machine gun. I peed the seat of the car. We heard sporadic gunfire as we drove home.
My mother was shocked when we drove up at ten. "Only you," she said. "They're shooting people left and right and you just drive right in!"
Current Day
It snowed for once last night. It is so beautiful here, we live in a preserve, the Radnor Lake preserve. It's all hills and forest. And so white right now, that the deer can be easily seen in the forest at the bottom of the hill. Normally you can only see them when they're on the grass, nibbling the grass.
We also have foxes, possums, all the normal stuff, and coyotes. Several years back, I used to feed what I thought was a baby fox. He was so cute. He'd just stand there staring until I fed him leftovers on a paper plate.
He was strange. He'd stand part way down the hill, and stare me right in the eye. In a couple of months, he grew so much we realized he was a coyote. He still stared at me, on the edge of the hill, every night. He'd stare before he was fed, and he'd stand there afterward. Strange animal.
Jokers
On Joker's, we are all worried about Bilbo. He had a toe removed, and they're looking at the one next to it now. Hopefully just one removed.
Oh Jeez, just read in the Animal Corner forum that chihuahuas are being airlifted from California to New York. Evidently they're piling up in the shelters in CA, thanks to cute dog movies. Here's hoping New Yorkers take them. I hate reading things like this.
I drove from Paris to Iran, in the late 70s. With my luck, the revolution broke out the very day we crossed the border into Iran from Turkey. Of course we had the radio on, but who understood it? Not my Irish friend Bernard, and not me - though I did speak a bit of Farsee.
We got to Isfahan at nine, and curfew was at nine. I talked a soldier into letting us drive to mom and dad' s house. We were followed by two tanks and six jeeps, each with guns trained on us.
We came around the big circle, and the command was barked to Stop! Berhnard didn't understand, and kept going. I yelled at him to stop. Immediately there was something cold in my ear - the muzzle of a machine gun. I peed the seat of the car. We heard sporadic gunfire as we drove home.
My mother was shocked when we drove up at ten. "Only you," she said. "They're shooting people left and right and you just drive right in!"
Current Day
It snowed for once last night. It is so beautiful here, we live in a preserve, the Radnor Lake preserve. It's all hills and forest. And so white right now, that the deer can be easily seen in the forest at the bottom of the hill. Normally you can only see them when they're on the grass, nibbling the grass.
We also have foxes, possums, all the normal stuff, and coyotes. Several years back, I used to feed what I thought was a baby fox. He was so cute. He'd just stand there staring until I fed him leftovers on a paper plate.
He was strange. He'd stand part way down the hill, and stare me right in the eye. In a couple of months, he grew so much we realized he was a coyote. He still stared at me, on the edge of the hill, every night. He'd stare before he was fed, and he'd stand there afterward. Strange animal.
Jokers
On Joker's, we are all worried about Bilbo. He had a toe removed, and they're looking at the one next to it now. Hopefully just one removed.
Oh Jeez, just read in the Animal Corner forum that chihuahuas are being airlifted from California to New York. Evidently they're piling up in the shelters in CA, thanks to cute dog movies. Here's hoping New Yorkers take them. I hate reading things like this.
January 5 rules about living in Iran, a visit to Crete
I came to the part of my book discussing Iran. I lived in Paris for two years, visiting Iran during the summers. This was during the Shah's reign, during the late 70's I think.
I had some wild times. I went to the bazaar once, wearing jeans and a tee shirt. They didn't want to see my arms, so they chased me out (a mullah with a long beard in the lead) and threw rotten fruit at me.
I have great memories of Iran. The people are warm and loving, very family oriented. We were close with our neighbors. They served my mom and I something that looked like taffy. You had to eat whatever was offered, or it was a major insult to the Iranians. I put it in my mouth as they explained that it was yogurt, left in the sun to rot for a week! It tasted foul, and I spat it in my napkin when no one was looking.
On another occasion, I was taken to see camel herders in the desert. They served me lukewarm tea. Again, HAD to drink it. Didn't get off well this time.
I got amoebic dysentary from it. Had to be flown to Paris to the hospital, and I still have outbreaks of it to this day. The gift that keeps on giving, you could say!
The Iranians are the most generous people on earth. Admire something in their home, and it's yours. Of course you're then expected to give them a gift.
The cultural differences were vast, but fascinating. I would live there again, given the chance.
Remember this summer when the Iranians were protesting their president not being elected correctly? My best friend Susan and I happened to be in Athens, at the Grande Bretagne hotel. This was during the first week of protests, after the election, when it was really awful.
Our hotel was next to the Greek Parliament building, and an embassy. We don't recall which embassy it was, but one day there was one hell of a big protest in front of the hotel, next to a park. We took our video camera and went down to shoot it.
Susan had the video camera, and said "I want to protest with the Iranians." Looking through the viewfinder only, she marched right up to them. I muttered in her ear "You might want to think twice. We're the only damn women here."
She turned tail and ran, so fast that the video camera got pictures of the ground as we fled! All those men protesting, and not one single woman. Except two dumb blonde Americans, natch. Who got the hell out of there rapido!
When I think of Iran, I think of how they opened their hearts and homes to us, even after the revolution. They sure knew how to have a good time. We went dancing and gambling often, or just to someone's house for dinner (and the after dinner smoke of opium, which they usually did.) Everyone sat around on exquisite Iranian carpets, piled in heaps on the floor. Such beautiful rugs.
It takes a family one year to make such a rug. They live off the proceeds very well, too. They take the finished rug and put it in the road, to be run over. Rub camel dung into it. By the time they're done conditioning it, nothing will ever stain it. That such things of beauty can come from dusty little villages in the middle of the desert is truly amazing.
I had some wild times. I went to the bazaar once, wearing jeans and a tee shirt. They didn't want to see my arms, so they chased me out (a mullah with a long beard in the lead) and threw rotten fruit at me.
I have great memories of Iran. The people are warm and loving, very family oriented. We were close with our neighbors. They served my mom and I something that looked like taffy. You had to eat whatever was offered, or it was a major insult to the Iranians. I put it in my mouth as they explained that it was yogurt, left in the sun to rot for a week! It tasted foul, and I spat it in my napkin when no one was looking.
On another occasion, I was taken to see camel herders in the desert. They served me lukewarm tea. Again, HAD to drink it. Didn't get off well this time.
I got amoebic dysentary from it. Had to be flown to Paris to the hospital, and I still have outbreaks of it to this day. The gift that keeps on giving, you could say!
The Iranians are the most generous people on earth. Admire something in their home, and it's yours. Of course you're then expected to give them a gift.
The cultural differences were vast, but fascinating. I would live there again, given the chance.
Remember this summer when the Iranians were protesting their president not being elected correctly? My best friend Susan and I happened to be in Athens, at the Grande Bretagne hotel. This was during the first week of protests, after the election, when it was really awful.
Our hotel was next to the Greek Parliament building, and an embassy. We don't recall which embassy it was, but one day there was one hell of a big protest in front of the hotel, next to a park. We took our video camera and went down to shoot it.
Susan had the video camera, and said "I want to protest with the Iranians." Looking through the viewfinder only, she marched right up to them. I muttered in her ear "You might want to think twice. We're the only damn women here."
She turned tail and ran, so fast that the video camera got pictures of the ground as we fled! All those men protesting, and not one single woman. Except two dumb blonde Americans, natch. Who got the hell out of there rapido!
When I think of Iran, I think of how they opened their hearts and homes to us, even after the revolution. They sure knew how to have a good time. We went dancing and gambling often, or just to someone's house for dinner (and the after dinner smoke of opium, which they usually did.) Everyone sat around on exquisite Iranian carpets, piled in heaps on the floor. Such beautiful rugs.
It takes a family one year to make such a rug. They live off the proceeds very well, too. They take the finished rug and put it in the road, to be run over. Rub camel dung into it. By the time they're done conditioning it, nothing will ever stain it. That such things of beauty can come from dusty little villages in the middle of the desert is truly amazing.
January 4th about Lynn and the cat (and his balls - Lynn's, not the cats)
Jokers
We are coming up on a new Bachelor season. Going to add all kinds of things. Perhaps forums for each Bach'ette. A new forum for graphics that can be picked apart. Remember the wart? HEHHEHE We picked that picture apart for months.
If any of you have any ideas on what we can add, please let me know here or on Jokers. We want to be THE best resource for Bachelor on the web.
Sniglet from Book
I was dating this guy named Lynn. Lynn had bright hair, cool blue eyes, and a kitten named the Cathead.
We'd been seeing each other for about a month, when we went out to dinner and came home fairly horny. This was a usual state of affairs for us. We couldn't keep our hands off each other.
He lived over a garage, and his bedroom was a loft. You had to bend over double to walk up there. Of course, we weren't up there for the walkin' :)
We got naked. He was on his knees (bent over of course) and he entered me in one long, fell swoop. I sighed and arched upward. He leaned over me, and the Cathead saw something dangling in the light.
He sank his claws directly into Lynn's balls. Lynn reared up and about knocked himself out on the ceiling. Me?
Dying laughing. Sorry guys, I know this hurts to read, but I could NOT stop laughing. That cat dangled there for a second or two, before Lynn swiped him off.
Lynn has the scars, the cat got a swat, and me? I have the best memory of a night where I couldn't stop laughing.
We are coming up on a new Bachelor season. Going to add all kinds of things. Perhaps forums for each Bach'ette. A new forum for graphics that can be picked apart. Remember the wart? HEHHEHE We picked that picture apart for months.
If any of you have any ideas on what we can add, please let me know here or on Jokers. We want to be THE best resource for Bachelor on the web.
Sniglet from Book
I was dating this guy named Lynn. Lynn had bright hair, cool blue eyes, and a kitten named the Cathead.
We'd been seeing each other for about a month, when we went out to dinner and came home fairly horny. This was a usual state of affairs for us. We couldn't keep our hands off each other.
He lived over a garage, and his bedroom was a loft. You had to bend over double to walk up there. Of course, we weren't up there for the walkin' :)
We got naked. He was on his knees (bent over of course) and he entered me in one long, fell swoop. I sighed and arched upward. He leaned over me, and the Cathead saw something dangling in the light.
He sank his claws directly into Lynn's balls. Lynn reared up and about knocked himself out on the ceiling. Me?
Dying laughing. Sorry guys, I know this hurts to read, but I could NOT stop laughing. That cat dangled there for a second or two, before Lynn swiped him off.
Lynn has the scars, the cat got a swat, and me? I have the best memory of a night where I couldn't stop laughing.
My story - pregnancy and rubber plants, and child abuse too
Bruce
I met Bruce when I was 17. It was love at first sight. He was a curly headed musician, and he was irresistible. He played with a group of friends, some less good than him. We spent many nights jamming. I too had a guitar, and played along.
He got me pregnant. Then he said "It's not my problem." I cracked him over the head with a rubber tree, had the abortion, and that was that. Did break my heart, especially in later years. These things creep up on you on slow, padded feet. You don't realize how much they mean until they're staring you in the face.
Many years later, I was moving to Paris. My parents and I were living in Wilmington, DE. I got a call.
Bruce had tracked us down. Did I want to come see him and his girlfriend? Sure. Why not?
He lived in a shabby apartment in a bad area of town, I was pleased to see. The girlfriend was a skinny dog, I was even more pleased to see. He'd never gotten his degree. He worked in a factory, doing I know not what. Seeing him was a revelation. There, but for the grace of God, was the father of my child.
I moved to Paris months later, to model. And I never thought of him again, for many more years.
Love is a funny thing. You can be head over heels, and have it chopped off like it never was, in one fell swoop. After that scene where I crashed the rubber tree on his head, my love was gone with the wind. Especially after seeing him in that dump, with his skanky girlfriend. There wasn't a hint of my gorgeous Bruce left in him. It was all ashes and dust in my mouth.
My Mom couldn't believe I even wanted to see him.
"Why would you want to see that loser again?"
"I'm not sure. To see what he's made of himself, I guess."
He'd made nothing. I saw the guitar in the corner, covered with dust. When I walked in, he picked it up and began to play Stairway to Heaven, badly. It was well and truly over.
January 01, 2010
My brother is coming by today. My brother is a story unto himself. It's hard for me to see him, talk to him, hang out with him.
I'll tell you something I've never told another living soul.
When I was five, he and a friend were in our guest room with me. I remember the nobby red bedspread of the guest room, and the overhead light that was on. My brother Ted Bigham (different fathers) was a big boy, and thirteen years older than me.
They pulled down my panties and shoved fingers into me. I remember the pain, the stark pain of it. And the shame. Even at that age I knew something wasn't right.
They took turns fingering me. Seems I recall his friend had bright red hair, limned by the overhead light. Where were my parents? All I know is they left me in his care.
The tears didn't stop falling. Pain, panic. That was my first panic attack. I remember it in bits and pieces, and I know there was more to it.
Many years later, I went to a gynecologist for the first time.
I was not a virgin, at eleven years old. Had been riding horses since I was three, so they wrote it off to that. At that point, I didn't recall.
It didn't come back to me until I was in my thirties. Then I remembered the finger, the bedspread, and that pain. That awful, dry, ripping pain.
My best friend is telling me not to blog this. Yes I'm going to blog it. If there's the slightest chance some child reads this, decides to tell her parents what's happened to her, gets it stopped... it would be worth it. Saving one child would be worth it.
When my mother was near death, we discussed it. But my brother could do no wrong. Drug dealing, kiting checks - he could do no wrong. So she didn't believe me.
My father, on the other hand, believed every word. Of course Ted wasn't his son. So perhaps that made it easier on him, and harder on my brother.
Both my parents are gone now. I adored my mother, but I still hold it against her that, in my time of most need, she simply didn't believe me. And she knew I didn't lie. Knew for a fact.
I was raised that if you fucked up, that was one thing. Lie about it and you really got punished. So I've never lied. Blunt to a fault.
Mom, why would I have lied? What possible good did it to me to come up with a story like that? Just to hurt you? You know I worshiped you, and I would never do anything to hurt you. Dad and I protected you from bad things all your life.
This was one thing I needed you to believe in. I don't know what I expected. Horror, perhaps. A hug. An apology for leaving me with him on so many nights, when he so obviously wasn't trustworthy.
I didn't expect you to call me a liar. I didn't expect you to stick up for Ted, once again.
Ten years ago, on your deathbed, you admitted that Ted is what he is. A thief, a drug dealer, an abuser. Finally. And I guess, after all these years, I'll have to be satisfied with that.
I have discussed this abuse with my psychiatrist over the years. I've come to terms with it. I mostly date women these days, out of personal preference. No relationship with a man has ever worked out.
I met Bruce when I was 17. It was love at first sight. He was a curly headed musician, and he was irresistible. He played with a group of friends, some less good than him. We spent many nights jamming. I too had a guitar, and played along.
He got me pregnant. Then he said "It's not my problem." I cracked him over the head with a rubber tree, had the abortion, and that was that. Did break my heart, especially in later years. These things creep up on you on slow, padded feet. You don't realize how much they mean until they're staring you in the face.
Many years later, I was moving to Paris. My parents and I were living in Wilmington, DE. I got a call.
Bruce had tracked us down. Did I want to come see him and his girlfriend? Sure. Why not?
He lived in a shabby apartment in a bad area of town, I was pleased to see. The girlfriend was a skinny dog, I was even more pleased to see. He'd never gotten his degree. He worked in a factory, doing I know not what. Seeing him was a revelation. There, but for the grace of God, was the father of my child.
I moved to Paris months later, to model. And I never thought of him again, for many more years.
Love is a funny thing. You can be head over heels, and have it chopped off like it never was, in one fell swoop. After that scene where I crashed the rubber tree on his head, my love was gone with the wind. Especially after seeing him in that dump, with his skanky girlfriend. There wasn't a hint of my gorgeous Bruce left in him. It was all ashes and dust in my mouth.
My Mom couldn't believe I even wanted to see him.
"Why would you want to see that loser again?"
"I'm not sure. To see what he's made of himself, I guess."
He'd made nothing. I saw the guitar in the corner, covered with dust. When I walked in, he picked it up and began to play Stairway to Heaven, badly. It was well and truly over.
January 01, 2010
My brother is coming by today. My brother is a story unto himself. It's hard for me to see him, talk to him, hang out with him.
I'll tell you something I've never told another living soul.
When I was five, he and a friend were in our guest room with me. I remember the nobby red bedspread of the guest room, and the overhead light that was on. My brother Ted Bigham (different fathers) was a big boy, and thirteen years older than me.
They pulled down my panties and shoved fingers into me. I remember the pain, the stark pain of it. And the shame. Even at that age I knew something wasn't right.
They took turns fingering me. Seems I recall his friend had bright red hair, limned by the overhead light. Where were my parents? All I know is they left me in his care.
The tears didn't stop falling. Pain, panic. That was my first panic attack. I remember it in bits and pieces, and I know there was more to it.
Many years later, I went to a gynecologist for the first time.
I was not a virgin, at eleven years old. Had been riding horses since I was three, so they wrote it off to that. At that point, I didn't recall.
It didn't come back to me until I was in my thirties. Then I remembered the finger, the bedspread, and that pain. That awful, dry, ripping pain.
My best friend is telling me not to blog this. Yes I'm going to blog it. If there's the slightest chance some child reads this, decides to tell her parents what's happened to her, gets it stopped... it would be worth it. Saving one child would be worth it.
When my mother was near death, we discussed it. But my brother could do no wrong. Drug dealing, kiting checks - he could do no wrong. So she didn't believe me.
My father, on the other hand, believed every word. Of course Ted wasn't his son. So perhaps that made it easier on him, and harder on my brother.
Both my parents are gone now. I adored my mother, but I still hold it against her that, in my time of most need, she simply didn't believe me. And she knew I didn't lie. Knew for a fact.
I was raised that if you fucked up, that was one thing. Lie about it and you really got punished. So I've never lied. Blunt to a fault.
Mom, why would I have lied? What possible good did it to me to come up with a story like that? Just to hurt you? You know I worshiped you, and I would never do anything to hurt you. Dad and I protected you from bad things all your life.
This was one thing I needed you to believe in. I don't know what I expected. Horror, perhaps. A hug. An apology for leaving me with him on so many nights, when he so obviously wasn't trustworthy.
I didn't expect you to call me a liar. I didn't expect you to stick up for Ted, once again.
Ten years ago, on your deathbed, you admitted that Ted is what he is. A thief, a drug dealer, an abuser. Finally. And I guess, after all these years, I'll have to be satisfied with that.
I have discussed this abuse with my psychiatrist over the years. I've come to terms with it. I mostly date women these days, out of personal preference. No relationship with a man has ever worked out.
New Year's Eve in 70s, yes it was me streaking
Morning
My morning starts at two p.m. I am an owl, up till four a.m. most nights. I write late at night, administer Jokers (When no one is around to disagree LOL!)
This morning I awoke to the black Mau at the foot of my bed. She belongs to Susan, and doesn't like me much, truth be told. So it's unusual she winds up on the foot of my bed. One of my Siamese (Yin or Yang, didn't get a good look and they're twin Seal points) had a lot to say about it, and nothing good. Bitch, bitch bitch!
New Year's Eves Past
I was seventeen the one year I recall so well. I was dating Jimmy Greeley. We weren't really in love, more like best friends. He was tall, blond, ice blue eyes. Very handsome, he was.
We went to a large party at someone's house in Crieve Hall, just across from where I lived. The house was a one story ranch style, and people were crammed into every room. We were all smoking pot and drinking (This was the 70's of course.)
Jimmy had an idea of what to do at midnight. Being accustomed to Jimmy's ideas, I heard this one out with some amount of dread and trepidation.
And sure enough. He wanted us to streak it. We would go into a bedroom, open the window, crawl out, leave our clothes in the car, crawl back in naked. And then run down the packed hall, into the living room (where the keg was,) into the kitchen (where the munchies were,) and out the kitchen door to the car (which was parked along the road. Too many cars in the long driveway.)
New Year's Eve in Nasvhille is cold. And I do mean COLD. I also underestimated the family dog, that they kept locked in a pantry off the kitchen because he wasn't very friendly to new people.
All went well at first. We stripped, carried the clothes to the car. By the time (freezing) we got back in the window, a couple was making love on the bed. We snuck past them and out the bedroom door, and it was time to run.
We lit out down the hall, packed with people who were screaming and laughing. One guy reached out to me and I knocked the beer right out of his hand. We continued into the living room, where most of the people were. More screams and laughter.
Into the kitchen, and this is where it all went wrong. I headed for what I thought was the door out.
It was the door to the pantry.
The nasty German Shephard came barreling out, snarling and growling. Right at me. I turned, leaped a table, and found the real door out. Jimmy found it ahead of me. I ran out, pursued by this growling, speeding mass of teeth. Snapping at my ass as I ran. I shut the door on him, he flew right through it.
I fled to the car, which Jimmy, in his wisdom, had locked. He let me in the passenger side, and I scooted over to the driver's side. He jumped on top of me and we slammed the door shut.
I started the car (one of my parent's huge white Lincolns,) and took off up Franklin Road, a main road in Nashville. We were halfway to my house by the time I realized that, stoned as monkeys, we were driving along stark naked.
As I was speeding from nerves, to my horror, a cop pulled us over. And there I sat, naked as a jaybird, with Jimmy trying to pull on his pants. My clothes were of course in the back seat of the huge Lincoln, too far away for me to reach.
Credit where credit's due, the policeman saw the humor in it. He allowed us to get dressed, and sent us on our way.
I was totally mortified. Another of Jimmy's ideas, gone badly wrong.
Could have been worse. Could have been in jail for indecent exposure.
From the pot, we were laughing hysterically as we pulled up in front of my parent's house. And New Year's Eve "73 was over.
Did any of you streak back then? I did again, but I'll save it for another blog entry.
My morning starts at two p.m. I am an owl, up till four a.m. most nights. I write late at night, administer Jokers (When no one is around to disagree LOL!)
This morning I awoke to the black Mau at the foot of my bed. She belongs to Susan, and doesn't like me much, truth be told. So it's unusual she winds up on the foot of my bed. One of my Siamese (Yin or Yang, didn't get a good look and they're twin Seal points) had a lot to say about it, and nothing good. Bitch, bitch bitch!
New Year's Eves Past
I was seventeen the one year I recall so well. I was dating Jimmy Greeley. We weren't really in love, more like best friends. He was tall, blond, ice blue eyes. Very handsome, he was.
We went to a large party at someone's house in Crieve Hall, just across from where I lived. The house was a one story ranch style, and people were crammed into every room. We were all smoking pot and drinking (This was the 70's of course.)
Jimmy had an idea of what to do at midnight. Being accustomed to Jimmy's ideas, I heard this one out with some amount of dread and trepidation.
And sure enough. He wanted us to streak it. We would go into a bedroom, open the window, crawl out, leave our clothes in the car, crawl back in naked. And then run down the packed hall, into the living room (where the keg was,) into the kitchen (where the munchies were,) and out the kitchen door to the car (which was parked along the road. Too many cars in the long driveway.)
New Year's Eve in Nasvhille is cold. And I do mean COLD. I also underestimated the family dog, that they kept locked in a pantry off the kitchen because he wasn't very friendly to new people.
All went well at first. We stripped, carried the clothes to the car. By the time (freezing) we got back in the window, a couple was making love on the bed. We snuck past them and out the bedroom door, and it was time to run.
We lit out down the hall, packed with people who were screaming and laughing. One guy reached out to me and I knocked the beer right out of his hand. We continued into the living room, where most of the people were. More screams and laughter.
Into the kitchen, and this is where it all went wrong. I headed for what I thought was the door out.
It was the door to the pantry.
The nasty German Shephard came barreling out, snarling and growling. Right at me. I turned, leaped a table, and found the real door out. Jimmy found it ahead of me. I ran out, pursued by this growling, speeding mass of teeth. Snapping at my ass as I ran. I shut the door on him, he flew right through it.
I fled to the car, which Jimmy, in his wisdom, had locked. He let me in the passenger side, and I scooted over to the driver's side. He jumped on top of me and we slammed the door shut.
I started the car (one of my parent's huge white Lincolns,) and took off up Franklin Road, a main road in Nashville. We were halfway to my house by the time I realized that, stoned as monkeys, we were driving along stark naked.
As I was speeding from nerves, to my horror, a cop pulled us over. And there I sat, naked as a jaybird, with Jimmy trying to pull on his pants. My clothes were of course in the back seat of the huge Lincoln, too far away for me to reach.
Credit where credit's due, the policeman saw the humor in it. He allowed us to get dressed, and sent us on our way.
I was totally mortified. Another of Jimmy's ideas, gone badly wrong.
Could have been worse. Could have been in jail for indecent exposure.
From the pot, we were laughing hysterically as we pulled up in front of my parent's house. And New Year's Eve "73 was over.
Did any of you streak back then? I did again, but I'll save it for another blog entry.
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