PTSD Journaling Section: What's THAT about?

What is PTSD?

"PTSD develops after a terrifying ordeal that involved physical harm or the threat of physical harm. The person who develops PTSD may have been the one who was harmed, the harm may have happened to a loved one, or the person may have witnessed a harmful event that happened to loved ones or strangers." (From the National Institute of Mental Health site.)

That is a very apt description, I'd say. Oddly enough, since I entered the world of PTSD, I have learned that many of my friends (and family of Jokers) also suffer from the evil disease. How does one learn whether one has PTSD or no? A doctor is the only one who can officially label you with that disease, but there are red flags that point directly to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome symptoms.

Here is a list of PTSD side effects. If you seem to tick many more boxes than not, I'd suggest visiting a doctor at your soonest convenience. Like any other disease, PTSD worsens considerably when not treated. Unlike many other diseases, you can die from it - by your own hand. Here is a PTSD Symptom Checklist:

• Lousy sleep (can't get to sleep, can't stay asleep, and/or you don't ever feel as though you've had enough sleep.)
• Frequent nightmares
• Frequent panic attacks
• No-no subjects (subjects you simply cannot address without enduring a panic attack.)
• Avoidance of certain topics (related to no-no subjects. You'll definitely avoid those, but also seemingly-unrelated topics.)
• Hellish depression
• Thoughts of suicide
• Actual suicide attempt(s)
• Unrelenting fear
• Jumpy (a flea fart can send you several feet in the air)
• Inability to complete heretofore simple tasks (you can't open/read your email, get your snail mail, enter a store)
• Inability to leave your home - this one is common.
• Extreme reactions (even if you're normally a mellow type, you find yourself lashing out at people)
• Shaking (my personal favorite: these days I sometimes cannot even sign my name. I make an 'X'.)
• Feelings of overwhelming shame (How did I ever allow this to happen to me? Me of all people? I always thought I was fairly bright. Now I am positive I'm a total, utter fool.)
• Drastic weight gain/loss
• Drug/alcohol dependency

... the list goes on, but these popped into my head. No, I don't need to provide a link. Simply Google "PTSD Symptoms" and these will appear.

So, how many did I check off? All but one. How about that for sucksville? Which one, you ask? I'll let you guess at that one (if anyone ever reads this dreck!)

How is PTSD cured?

Damned if I know! Hasn't happened yet. I'm in therapy with two flavors of docs:

a psychologist administering EMDR 

A psychiatrist administering cognitive therapy.

I vote for the EMDR (in as much as I miss most of my appointments. That whole 'unable to leave the house' thing, you know.) EMDR has something to do with rapid eye movement. Voodoo (my nickname for the psychologist who is doing the EMDR) wags a finger, a la metronome, in front of my nose. My eyes follow it: no head movement whatsoever. He guides my thoughts, or rather encourages me down certain paths by asking questions.

First session was fun! Really fun, and I felt stupendous after it. Raring to go for the next... which was hell. I didn't get over it for a month. Third one was just OK, and the fourth is next week.

The cognitive sucks, period. He just prods me into describing what happened, in nauseating detail. Our list above has something about 'Avoidance', does it not? It's truly hard to avoid a subject that a truly great shrink is equally determined you're going to face.

All of this seems dreadfully familiar to you, but at the same time you're experiencing relief. You're not crazy after all! You have a disease that can be defined and can be cured. 

And you just found a place to discuss it, if you like. Leave comments - I will respond to every one. I can tell you what has and hasn't worked, some of the dangers, and even some legalities involved.

I'm going to leave this post with one legality: perhaps the most important thing I learned. May it help you as it did me.

Ex-parte Order of Protection (or whatever it's called in your state)

Google "order of protection' for your state. The proper terminology will be discussed: you want the 'urgent' one. That one, when awarded by a judge, has an individual hauled out of your house THAT INSTANT. No joke. My predator was informed before I even got home! They were gone a couple of hours later. It will work for you: no, you needn't have current marks on your body. Simply THREATS are sufficient, get me? No I didn't know that: I knew none of this. Learned most people don't.

Did learn 7 women are abused every minute in the States. Yet, 70 percent of women who get those protection orders are never abused again. So, why don't women get the things?

Because, like moi, they weren't aware of a protective order.

Your duty is to pass on 'protective order', ex-parte OP or just 'urgent OP' to everyone you know.

You will very likely save a life in doing so.