An Assistant DA with a Rose in her Teeth

Andi: the latest Bachelorette

Andi is going to make a crack Bach, no doubt about that. She’s uncommonly bright for a Bach, gorgeous, and real. Her no-nonsense approach to life is going to make for interesting viewing this season.

Of course she had the habitual drunk: hi, Craig! One has to wonder about such fellows. The Bachelor/Ette series is far from new, and although most men claim not to watch, of course many do. Wouldn’t you, if you were going to appear on the damn thing? Shades of “Survivor” where most boobs show up not even knowing how to make a fire.

Voila! Two major reality no-nos:

• Don’t get drunk the first night on any Bach series
• Don’t go on Survivor without knowing how to make fire.

Oh my, I forgot one.

• Don’t go on Big Brother and be surprised when pictures of your naked arse appear all over the web!

Andi’s guys

Back to the show of the moment, the Bachelorette. Several men were stand-outs, and not all in a good way. I got a massive kick out of Josh, the one who was “embarrassed.” In a Jokers Soup article,  Soup was tickled because they figured Josh couldn't have ever watched the show. Nah! This, for me, is your basic young hot male. Likely it never occurred to Josh that he would be the first to get the boot! Hot young males have fairly simple mental functions, along these lines:

<grunt> “Me see hot woman.” <sniff sniff> “Smell good too.” <Picks at his hair, fluffing it. Pumps up arms. Checks teeth in mirror and is ready to make his move.>

“Yo. Me sensitive dude:  won’t throw you over shoulder and bolt like other dudes. First we have drinks, I pretend interest in your life, and then no need for the whole shoulder thing. Me you’ll follow docile as lamb.” <Puffs out chest at woman: exposes large white teeth.>

On that note, he’s done... he goes back to join the other males, certain of impending rose-dom.

I have to admire Josh’s blunt honesty, though... lord knows I’ve heard enough of “... could have been something so special!” or “I am perfect for her...” ad nauseum. All this over a woman they've known for hours! Of particular note are the ones who actually squeeze out a tear or two.

This season's somber start

This Bachelorette definitively began on a different note: one of sorrow. The loss of Eric Hill, a contestant vying for Andi’s hand, has hit the entire Bach community hard. After a bit of research, I discovered why. This was a guy who knew how to live, really live. He travelled the world constantly, engaged in one adventure after the next. I’m sure that he passed as he would have wanted -- in a paragliding accident. Eric Hill was never going to die of old age on a couch, bless him.

Wrapping it up: Jokers’ take

As usual, there are widely-varying points of view on the new Bach season from Joker folks. I saw “Couldn’t even make it an hour... not impressed with Andi at all..” and, in response, “.. quick-witted and smart... I rather like her.” Jokers can be relied on for such differing outlooks, as well as a dang good laugh!

I get a kick out of the people who really research each show, delving into minute details and sometimes reading the future from them. They’ll find a still shot of a date, for example, where the guy’s head is hidden. It’s obviously a shot from the famous “F2” (Final Two) reveal, and the outcome has been accurately forecast in the past by people who correctly identify a certain ring, the color of a shirt, even the angle of the sun.

During this first episode, Andi was laughing about her constant “y’all” usage. Jokers users think that perhaps production had encouraged the Southern slang to make Andi more “colorful”. Another believes that it makes her “endearing”, instead of the far-overused “amazing” so often uttered. Ne14cookies came up with my personal fav... she read that Bachelor Canada folks said Andi’s guys needed to “give their Pee-Wee Herman ties back!”

Joker's Bach Queen

When a new Bach season begins, Joker’s “Bach Queen” leaps into action. She finds articles everywhere on earth, literally; from tiny USA towns to global stories. She sniffs out Bach clues better than Sherlock Holmes ever could. (Of course he didn't have Google!) And she provides the best fodder for the Bach research crew. She processes hours of Bach video, creating slo-mo versions as well as regular. Her videos and screencaps are to be found anywhere Bach is discussed, along with her brand firmly stamped at the bottom.

Who might this Joker’s Bach Queen be? 20 guesses and the first 19 don’t count, as we say down South. Next week, though, I might attempt to grab an interview from the queen herself. I doubt she’ll actually give up any of her best tricks for acquiring arcane Bach knowledge, but “y’all” can certainly wait and see.